this is the pic of all of us.. jiaren.. haa..

jus came back from chalet earlier this afternoon.. tired.. but had fun throughout.. during chalet sis joined us in the later nite on the first day after her work.. asri joined us later on the third day too..

activities we had.. cycling.. rollerblading.. swimming.. (almost everynite man..) wildwildwet.. this time no go escape.. ah di's mum came over the first evening.. bringing food over too.. there was fried rice.. hotdog cheese.. fried beefballs.. (their good..) dumpling and chicken wings.. really gotta thank her for all the food.. it kept us full till the next day man..

other past times were spent arcading.. in our room playing xbox.. or drinking away and playing cards.. mahjong and snake and ladder.. haa.. tts an old but all time fun game though.. most interesting happenings were nothing much.. except that i bath wif sis.. haa. recalling back the previous time i did that was ten years back.. when im 11 yrs ba.. haa.. girls to ladies.. haa..

shall not talk much but let the photos do the job..

but before i carry on.. i would like to sincerely apologise on the last nite for pissing dear off for certain actions that i made.. i dun push the blame on the fact that i drank.. coz i know im still wif my senses.. its jus.. it was meant to be an action on purpose.. i do know wat im doing.. jus that i seem to be rather high only.. and that triggered dear to take a stick.. though baby said i wasnt the main cause.. i know.. we all know.. its coz of mi.. baby din wanna make it big so i promised not to mention it again.. jus felt i shouldnt have been so misbehaving.. haiz..

and as for today.. the moment its time to go home.. i knew things aint gonna go anywhere good.. haiz.. and true enuff.. came home had a squibble wif popo.. shant go in details.. did my bedsheets.. unpack my dirty clothes and washed them.. bathed and masked my hair.. ate noodles.. watched tv.. took a nap at 7 till 8pm.. den went downstairs to help ma carry things again.. watched more tv.. dad came home.. tts when it happen..

i quarreled wif mom.. dad din say much though.. fucking bitch always wanna be the good person den everything push to dad.. its the silent attack again.. dunno how to explain.. haiz.. everything was still fine initially.. jus hate it when i hav the mood to talk and discuss things wif then and not get their support.. and they still make it seem like they care alot for u and all the hypocritical shit when they dunno much bout u.. jus makes mi feel so wrong to talk to them at times.. till i even wondered if am i still considered a part of the family.. sometimes its jus the weird feeling..

told mom apart from family.. its dear that i feel is the closest to me already.. that also wrong meh? at least im telling the truth and not like her going behind ppl's back and say things.. fuck it. i know.. i know wat she's thinking.. in her heart she mus be swearing.. saying im stewpit and that i should put family first.. blah blah..

at times its not that i purposely wan to rebel or wat.. i mean i dun like the fact that stewpitfarking bitch cant tell mi straight in the face.. den mus go behind my back.. and do shit. den not enuff.. from one thing can say till another.. say i dun care family.. and bro.. and i only know how to go out play.. cmon i go out for wat wif whu she also dunno.. not dunno.. i think she dun even bother to know.. den carry on say my frens.. mumberone target is .. haiz.. damn saddening la.. dun wanna disclose.. but it jsu makes mi wonder wat the hell in the world is those sickening logic she talked about.. i mean she dun even know mi well.. how to go ard describing my frens.. den start stereo typing misay i dun like to pick up calls from home.. describe till i machiam a small ah lian trying to get attention or run away from home?? grow up man.. get a life!!

suddenly i feel its all coming back again.. dunno how to communcate wif them again.. all of them.. outcasted?? haiz..


sis carry mi in the pool..


five of us.. with an alien twist..


five of us..


all the drinks are mine!!


the best customer award year 2006..




my baby resting..











all thanx to these.. we were kept busy in the nite..


our food supply for five days..


our dinner on the second nite..


hungwee sis..


freeze.. or i'll shoot!!


swinging in the playground..

lastly my fav pic..

world war.. going on..

mom and dad seem to hav some disagreement.. till bro got dragged in as well.. its all coz of a phone call or a simple msg.. there is serious communication problem going on in my family..

bro called it the silent attacker.. which means to say mom goes on complaining about her life and stress and heavy responsibilities and loneliness.. and indirectly blaming it all on dad.. wif my bro coming in between the both to try and help to stop them.. ended up getting himself involved..

actually.. its all very true.. all it takes for a couple to last and maintain a strong relationship.. is trust.. but mom seem to be expecting more.. she demands that dad reports of his every move to her.. even after dad apologise.. she cant take it lying down.. and has to carry on wif her silent attack.. but the most fundamental issue here is actually understanding.. if being together for years doesnt help each other understand each other better.. den there must be serious problem going on.. if one has a function going on and happily attends to his programs.. it might slip off one's mind to msg the other of his wherabouts.. that is his mistake.. but being the other understanding half.. shouldnt it be a minor problem only? it should be understood between each other.. den there will not be any misunderstandings le..

haiz.. but from an onlookers point of view.. i can conclude on one thing, that is my bro should not have interupted at all from the beginning.. why?? tts because mom has a high sense of pride.. and having to quarrel infront of kids and having her kids speaking up but not for her.. she would not know how to get off the stage.. tts because she gets embarassed.. as a matter of fact.. den she will rake up the past and start the ball rolling again.. haiz.. but given mi.. i would also hav spoken up for dad.. poor dad.. always giving in and especially at the wrong time always.. haiz..

this brings mi to think about wat happened jus the other nite.. hav i been demanding much from dear as well.. hav i been growing towards an unwanted behaviour jus like mom unknowingly? its scary.. it seems easy to jus say that all it takes is understanding between one another.. but actually putting it into action is not that simple.. jus need to know that im in good hands.. i wan dear not to allow mi to change.. but im sorry if i had been unreasonable to u.. its jus i hope that our talks would not go to waste.. coz i wan u to know.. i care for u.. it hurts when i jus .. jus only.. jus mention about things.. den without warning u straightaway do silly things.. u understand dear?? im sorry and i love you..

met up wif sis.. like finally.. after procrastinating for so long.. chalet for a 5d4n has been booked.. this coming sun onwards.. ima gonna make it my most enjoyable one.. this would most probably be the last chalet that dear be having before his ns ba..

went to easb today..its a university in singapore although not very well established as SIM or SMU.. haa. but it has got wat sis and i wanted.. if not for the wakening talk i had wif dear.. i would seriously most probably enrol without second thoughts.. though i dun mind ppl's opinion on mi.. but of all ppl it has to be dear to mistake mi for following others in their footsteps.. its been a long ago dream to be able to study in shatec or in relevant hotel industry.. so much said.. but jus one sentence from dear.. can really pull mi down.. its jus the way u tok sense to mi.. to u it may seem like u're jus giving ur opinion.. yea.. its wat i wan afterall.. ur opinion.. but i feel u putting mi down in a way i cant bring myself up to explain.. why has these kinda things been happening recently? haix.. and im sorry i gotta apologise sincerely.. for having to blog and give dear silly thoughts.. its my fault.. but its a blog afterall rite?? whu goes for spelling errors after an entry?? i dun.. jus so glad things are settled.. really..

but at one point in time.. i jus got to be reminded of wat would it be if things are different.. if i hav the same big temper as dear.. and if i dun like talking things out.. and like quarreling instead.. would we hav lasted this long?? yea.. its jus being me.. i love thinking about lotsa silly things.. i tot if it was the reverse way.. den i wondered how long will i be able to keep it in mi..

k la.. back to today.. had nydc after like so so long.. haa.. missed my cousin jeremy kor.. haa.. had the oven baked specialty hawaiian.. while my dear ger had the wat was tt?? er.. something eye one.. haa.. forgot the name le.. thanx sis for the nice treat okies.. till i get my pay after starting my job.. haa.. it'ss be my turn to treat u le.. hee..we go suntec the congress kopitiam there okies.. haa.. or cartel.. or sushi tei.. haa.. went play pool after dinner.. the whole place was empty.. jus all to ourselves.. haa.. make us wanna go chiong.. haa.. but song there abit kuku la.. and throughout the whole time.. i managed to stay cool and though everything was fine.. till sis even said i seem so nonchalent about wat happen between mi and dear.. haa.. but i was jus thinking bout dear.. though i did not show it out.. bet sis knew but jus din say out ba.. bad at explaining things.. jus glad sis was there wif mi loh.. shared stories.. enjoyed today.. except that dear wasnt wif a happie heart..

den took bus 162 wif sis to esplanade.. den 70 to his place.. glad i made the trip.. coz we trashed things out and managed to settle things.. though conversation wasnt good.. but thank God things turned out fine.. gonna go slp le.. and meet dear in dreamland..

time's 1.36am..

waited for my turn to use the lappy.. yea coz im too lazy to turn on the old com.. dear sent mi home after 9pm show.. den he should be hanging out wif danny and the rest at the pub..hope he returns home early.. din get to meet sis afterall.. dunno if will we meet up tml also.. but no idea to go where though.. and worst of all.. no cash.. dotz.. jus worry about baby.. when will you ever learn to rest early.. and improve on your health.. jus hate to see you feelin insecure bout yourself..

recently been feeling unsure.. of the future.. stepping into adult working life soon.. seem so fast.. yet i dun hav any goals or ambitions which could spur mi on.. which makes mi feel so lost at times.. theres jus too many things to worry about in life.. exams are long over for mi.. family had been on track.. other den the occasional squibbles here and there.. work.. and money.. frens and love.. haa.. guess it should be too much of slacking and rotting at home that makes mi feel like i've been wasting time away.. thus thinking too much.. i hope to get something acheived for everyday.. even a simple task at least.. haiz.. but it seemed impossible coz i got too much wants to do le..

okies.. enuff bout silly thoughts..

lets talk bout recently.. been meeting up wif jw..glad i caught up wif her and got her to share wif mi her recent being..definitely hope for the better for her.. even been to her place the other nite..

supposedly, was to meet up wif june today.. but she got two interviews and couldnt afford the time.. so we postponed again.. haa.. its been the third time already.. but still i could feel she was sincere.. and took the effort to reply and inform mi and stuff..

i should be returning to sch tml once again to settle my payment which was the result of a misunderstanding.. hopefully get to do something meaningful tml..

baby.. if not for my msg.. will u tell mi u're gonna stay out again? wats the use of telling u i dun like u going out at nite.. when u would not listen? im jus disappointed.. over wat?? over the fact that i jus mention that i dislike u going to meet them and return late.. yet u still went ahead.. i knew it.. not that i dun like u going out to meet them.. jus that i dun wanna see u making this a habit.. once u go out.. u either return late or nv at all.. haiz.. wat for talk to u so much.. dun wanna get mad.. but help mi not to.. jus disappointed.. see!! coz u did it once again.. u're gonna settle at di's place le den probably tell mi.. or maybe get drunk and slp thru and tell mi tmr??

fine.enjoy.

time's 5:18pm.. guess im gonna be late metting jw at six.. went out to ubin yesterday.. it was definitely fun.. its jus my second time cycling and im at ubin le.. wahahha.. shall upload the pics only later.. if not sure super late de.. hmm.. baby also going to meet his fren.. dunno if i will meet him today.. but he told mi not to hold high hopes.. :( so i shall not den..

shall go bath.. den meet jw ger le.. cya peeps.. pics later.. :)
take care on the road dear..

time's 5:18pm.. guess im gonna be late metting jw at six.. went out to ubin yesterday.. it was definitely fun.. its jus my second time cycling and im at ubin le.. wahahha.. shall upload the pics only later.. if not sure super late de.. hmm.. baby also going to meet his fren.. dunno if i will meet him today.. but he told mi not to hold high hopes.. :( so i shall not den..

shall go bath.. den meet jw ger le.. cya peeps.. pics later.. :)
take care on the road dear..

greetings.. trying to make an entry before one.. to promise to get to bed early.. im going out to cycling again tml.. to pulau ubin.. was missing sis.. and hoping sis could come along too.. but i reckon she'e be working her guts out.. haiz.. take care sis.. and bro take care of urself at the chalet.. its seem to be so long u were away from home.. miss going to bed wif u at nite and toking cock.. bleahz..

been trying to keep it inside me.. but dear seem to know somethings amiss from my voice.. it all started at home.. granny has been giving mi the fucked up attitude.. like i owed her shiats.. since the very moment i wake up she's been giving mi the face.. shout and nag.. seem to be testing my patience for gawd knows wat reason.. i know when one is old, one gets impatient and easily aggitated.. but theres a limit to one's tolerance too.. so its rather hard to give in especially when im tired and sick.. fuck it..

after she got her last blow.. dear brought mi out to play basket ball wif the rest.. still i feel irritated.. hard to get over the fact that i got screwed for nothing.. anyway i appreciate the fact di and dear was there.. and thank god i din threw any tantrums back..

baby jus got his results.. well done baby.. finally everything is over yea?? the whole tertiary education.. is finally over.. couldnt realy express how happy i felt for u over the phone earlier on when i realise how well u did comparing to other sem's results.. im sorry.. i was in the midst of something and u called.. but when im toking to u.. u dun seem to be listening.. or rather was distracted.. so i tot u could've jus called back later.. dun wanna talk much coz of my throat.. but u got mi repeating wat i've said quite a few times today.. its irritating.. gosh i muz be having pms man.. but baby.. above all things.. i jus wanna say thaank you for taking care of mi and making sure i got my medicine and enuff rest and stuff.. i wan the same for u too baby.. take care..

its now 1:15am.. and u're still online.. in the end we din keep to our promise afterall.. maybe i should care less.. and since he got his results onli jus today.. let him be den.. nite..

medicine's making mi real drowsy now.. yea.. i've been to the doc finally as the phlegm jus wun leave mi.. and im afraid i might get too used to my male voice i've been having for like the past two weeks coming..

still i jus wanna take a short ten mins(*thanx dear for giving mi extra time.. haa. ) to make a short entry on yesterday..

mondae 13th Mar..
woke up to realise dear sitting on my bed.. his smile jus brightened my day instantly.. taking away all my aches and pain in the throat.. rite away.. i jumped outa bed and head to the bath room.. and out we went shopping and all.. its jus another day together wif dear.. but i felt as though its been a long time since i last saw him kind.. i mus be mad.. how to survive like tt in future?? gonna be real hard wif him in there serving the nation.. hmm.. thoughts of it jus brings mi jitters.. al all along for the whole day.. i realise i jus keep on laffing and talking and playing and laffing and it goes on and on.. non stop.. rather high i guess.. haa.. but watever the case.. i jus felt the closeness feeling.. the rite feeling altoghther once again.. not wanting to mention for fear things would go wrong.. but its always the case for mi.. i cant be too happy coz sooner or later i will start spoiling things making my mood turn a 360 degrees.. but still.. it was a 100% nice day out wif dear.. thank you baby.. dunno why but its jus the rite feeling and all.. blah blah.. haa..

tuesdae 14th mar..
surprisingly.. i got up the moment my alarm went off this morning.. and even woke my bro up to prepare for his chalet.. i seemed to be even more excited bout his chalet.. yea like wat the hell rite.. but haa.. im jus so weird.. since it was booked under my name.. needa go down help check the little kiddies in to the chalet and make sure i get a clear scan of them all.. but haiz.. to my disappointment.. all are legally underage bonkers.. hmm.. duno how to discribe but.. haa.. their all so fun and young. which reminds mi of the younger days.. hmm.. getting olders huh.. haa.. anyways.. bought a new mahjong board and there goes my hard-saved money ready to bank in for our savings but.. hell waste it on a needless but wanted mahjong board.. hmm.. cunxi di and danny kor and dear are all at my living room now.. and i should be signing off here in the mean time.. dunno how long i took to write out all these shiats but i jus wrote continuously.. haa..

byes. haa.

been feeling the worse in my throat for the past few days.. been coughing and sneezing real bad.. tt my voice had turned to a man's .. dear's been at my place taking care of mi for the past two days le.. really greatful for that.. and for that i dun wana see a doc.. :)

met jw on wed.. though we did not go sentosa.. we promised to meet up jus to update wif each other and hav dinner together.. blah blah.. haa bought a top each.. went home early tt day.. hope u get ur other job at tts okies.. its okie if we cant meet up.. jus once in awhile will do.. hope aini will too.. take care ger..

met sis on thursday the day she arrived from her HK trip.. got a little souvenier frm her.. its a keychain wif my name.. tat describes mi as artistic and elegant, a beautiful lady, cute and pleasant.. wahahha.. sounds me?? i dunno.. chatted and realised i really had difficulty speaking coz of my sore throat.. asked if she could come along to redang island wif us.. but i doubt so.. watever.. jus try to okie.. if not it'll be jus mi alone wif the guys.. though we're frens..

hmm.. been rather reluctant to go look for jobs stil.. wonder wats holing mi back but its kinda getting on my own nerves to realise i can be so lazy.. maybe i'll jus rest till ard april.. and see how things goes.. thanx to chatting wif yiling earlier.. she got mi off the thought of resting for too long.. else i'll be lagging behind le.. and monica jie too.. hmm.. shalll go watch some tv le.. i'll promise i'll try to pack up my table and stuff.. haa.. i'll try.. meantime my baby is back from supper le.. so guai loh.. only two cups of tea.. din smoke nor eat.. haiz.. poor baby dun wanna eat.. listen dear.. one more time.. even if u're fat till u're hopeless.. i'll still wan u okies.. haa.. jus mind ur big appetite can le.. :) i believe u can maintain if u wan.. jia you.. :)

yes!! i've learnt to cycle le.. took one day to learn.. hmm.. less than one day la.. bout few hours?? haa.. it was definitely funtime.. we cycled one point in pasir ris to another.. hee.. but its quite embarassing to let dear see all my stewpit actions.. haa.. yea.. he's bringing mi to pulau ubin.. wif the rest soon!! we stopped almost at all the mama shop selling drinks.. haa.. and its so damn expensive not worth it to spent on drinks there.. definitely a day to remember.. thank you dear!
hee.. suddenly remember joey.. ger one day we go ride bicycle together okies.. yea if possible..

we went home and decided to take a nap before going out again in the evening for a movie.. but dear felt sickly rite after reaching my place.. so we decided to stay indoors le.. dear decided to stay for the night..

fridae 3rd march..
baby no go work.. we were disturbed almost throughout the nite.. managed to sleep peacefullly but was awaken by my bros alarm.. coz my bro hav trouble waking up u see.. and when he's gone to sch.. we were awaken by the aircon man again.. and its so irritating i tell u.. and i blame myself for havin him over and to put up wif all the shit.. haix.. baby slept in my arms finally the third round.. tts when alls quiet and we finally get to really sleep.. haiz.. im sorry baby.. we woke up washed up and had lunch at my place.. den went to his place to change up before meeting cunxi and danny.. we decided to watch big momma's house.. and i tot the title was momma big.. hahha.. watever la.. its a good show for a good laff.. den decided to go over to serangoon for a drink.. settled at a place called i love happy days.. haa.. nice place.. though small.. its cosy and hav got the rite atmosphere.. tts when i missed sis.. and realised she's flying le..
we had whisky and opened a bottle of chivas.. din finish it though.. learnt two new games.. haa.. definitely a great time together.. till the pub close at three..throughout the whole time i felt loved and cared.. especially when di asked kor not to let mi drink too much.. haa.. scared i drunk eh?? haa.. since we drink till late.. all decided to go over to ah di's place jus round the corner..

saturdae 4th march..
a three story landed property.. haa.. spent the next 24 hours there.. big.. played wif hugo.. ah di's baby poodle.. hee.. cute.. the guys as always.. played sparring with each other till we woke up ah di's mom.. manage to sleep ard 6 in the morning.. till 2pm.. bathed and had lunch there.. played mahjong and watched dvds.. and auntie's dinner was good.. the beef was good.. hee.. anyways.. sis went to hk le.. i will keep u in my prayers okies.. hope tt u will enjoy ur trip there and have many photos taken and share them wif mi when u return orh.. take good care and not fall sick too..

and today.. i've slacked long enuff.. haa.. missed baby.. hope he's doing fine.. and drinking plenty of water.. take care baby..

phew.. okies.. jus wanna post a short entry on today..

went out wif mom.. yea.. i did.. and it was still okie la.. expected to hang out till nite even though she did say till about noon only.. woke mi up early in the morning jus to make sure i kept my promise to the beauty fair today.. its held at suntec convention hall and today's the last day.. yea.. though its not in the least of my interest.. i still parade ard the exhibition hall.. there were different stalls of the suppliers doing beauty cosmetics.. to facial treatment products and manicure stuffs and hairstyle too.. and i ended up as one of mom's guinea pig.. she wanna try out their prods u see.. yea.. so i had a free makeup makeover.. okie la.. haa.. i got purple eyeshadow.. not the smoky kind.. but din know purple would look okie on mi.. haa.. tot i dun suit. hahha.. den i had mascara!! and the gerl told mi i had LONG lashes.. do i?!?! hahha.. i dun even know.. yea coz i dun use mascara.. haha..

had late lunch at the congress kopitiam.. hahha.. okie la. the cheese prata is good. i mean GOOD.. hahha.. den took a cab to this ulu ulu place called the APS building.. jus some kind of hidden place in a deserted street.. and its along orchard rd summore.. dunno wat chetting rd la.. hahha.. to redeem the 2.3 inch lcd screen portable color tv.. interesting eh??

den again took a cab back to far east.. to settle down our stuffs.. we bought alot.. no i mean mom bought alot stuff she could sell for higher profits.. shant disclose the top top secret of how much difference.. but i was amazed at it too.. haa..
haiz.. all these while baby din call.. though i felt baby was awake le.. but as the benefit of the doubt.. i tot he was still slping.. so din cal.. but yea.. some how disappointed hin ba..

baby called later on while i was in the cab back to far east..

den we walked over to taka.. to look for daddy.. but daddy go for his company dinner le.. my daddy was awarded.. for some good stuff he did.. hee.. his efforts were paid off.. :) walked ard.. den saw afew frens.. :) den went back to far east again.. yea.. was hoping to meet dear along the way or something.. but was hoping he stay home too.. yea.. shopped ard and mom bought mi a new black top i was aiming for quite awhile.. and a new shiseido eye curler too.. hee.. after the girl say i've got nice lashes.. i wan to play wif mascara and curls liaoz.. haa.. wat a vainpot.. haa.. went back to office and had facial and massage.. stripped top off.. hee.. coz of the massage.. but all in all.. its been a real long while since i last went out wif mom and had all things went smooth like this.. though a little weird here and there.. i hope it was the rite choice i made afterall.. yea.. frens.. wanna do facial ma?? call mi eh.. :)

jus a thought that might or might not seem true to some ppl.. but i feel sometimes not everything can go smoothly.. jus like not every one is perfect and jus like no one can hav the best of both worlds.. so the same rule applies for mi as much as i would wan to change it.. but it seem to mi.. my home are all fine.. and things are definitely going smoothly wif mi and dear.. even though if its for the mean time or not.. coz i hope not to put him on his nerves again at my stewpidity.. haa.. watever.. and other then home and dear.. there are definitely my beloved frens out there.. still.. it seems to mi like i can still do something about.. something.. but im too tired to explain my side of the story if it means to make mi go build the interest in others first.. simply to say.. i think no one would be interested in listening anyway.. wat does it mean when one say friends forever?? does it really mean friends forever? wat is a promise and is it meant to be brokened? or kept? i dunno.. haiz.. its really driving mi nuts.. stop all the weird and hypocrite actions alright?? enuff.. its u im toking about.. u know.. enuff.. and if u need time.. to clear things in ur head.. i feel i deserve the rite to also know as im stil a fren of urs.. unless.. unless.. its not the way u wan it to be either.. haiz.. wats going on?? fuck it.. u wan it this way?? fine by me.. its a disgrace.. really a disgrace to hav things turn out this way.. instead of a friendship.. fine by me.. all fine.

im gonna relax.. and try to get things off my mind as much as i can.. im going out wif jw and aini ger on fri.. :) looking forward.. though i still dunno where to go.. haa..

dear's bringing mi out tml to cycling.. do u hear mi?? cycling!! hahha. yea!! really.. dear.. if its not for u i would not be wat i m today.. coz its all the good and bad u made us go through tt i've learnt.. learnt to let go of certain things. i dunno wat im toking about.. argh.. looking forward to tml.. :)

luv ya dear!!