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Matthew 11:28

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

the thought came along with an aim that is to help make mi feel better.

well.. thank you..

there are ups and downs for everyone. After crying, I will dry my tears and move on.

thanx ...

my life just goes on in a cycle, day after day. nothing runs out of routine.

worked till late, then come home to rest and go to bed. mentally tired, physically drained.

although its finally my compliance leave now, i do not feel that it is holiday.
too tired to go for gathering, too tired for dinners, too tired for everything.

it's been really long since i got in touch with the girls.

guess i need to make a trip down to the beach. in hope where I can find my comfort zone my space myself back.

what’s wrong with me?

time well spent...

most people appreciate their time well just by spending it at home watching vcds or sleeping away.. some hang out wif frens and just frens..
i feel its always good to have an equal of both..

started off my saturday wif a spa at the body wellness salon wif mom..
was late as usual.. so we both missed the body scrub.. feel kinda cheated..
had a full body aromatic spa massage..
den i realise mayb i aint the type to enjoy spas after all..
after which lunch at swensens..
haven got a chance to try their smoothies..
bought some face scrub frm fancl.. yea why spend when i can get it free from mom who's a beautician.. haa..

met old gang at bugis.. den its steamboat for dinner before we all make our way home after deciding theres nothing much for us to do..

keep imagining myself uploading vids and pics of baby and all.. but im jus so lazy.. wif my slow computer.. its not helping at all..

brought javier to the baby pool.. javier's first splash splash time.. :)
was so afraid that it might rain or that javier wil be too tired..
or even worse..
pee or poo in the pool.. haa.. but we all had fun in the end..

went home all bath and changed before we head down to amkhub soup restaurant.. for mom's belated diner..

overall a tiring weekend but it was an enjoyable one..
i wish i can bring javier home every week.. or more often..
otherwise i will have problem having him over the weekends..

all things happen for a reason.. so can anyone tell mi why..
why is my heart still aching..
........

...

in the darkest times of my life.
i told myself to move on cause i have you.
in times when i have doubts and fears.
i clinged on tighter cause i tot there's still you.
you being my second chance.
my hope.
my support and comfort.
but.
the one that i put my whole trust and life in.
shows mi just how vulnerable trust can be
shows mi just how much can be seen through a person.
that im starting to fall apart cause of this one person.
is life worth giving one more chance?


am i to take your words for real and risk my trust being taken advantage of again?
its just this scary cause the person closest to you is the person hiding the most things from you.
and its just this scary to imagine you have lied for so long so well.
n whether to gimme a 100percent of u, its for mi to tell.
not for u to say.
but thanx for telling mi my importance to you and your sincerity in giving mi a 100percent.
afterall its wat i've been waiting for all this while.
its wat u owe mi its wat it should have been all along rite?
im jus wondering.. wat took u so long.. why only now..
i lived to learn that its just too much to trust one self and later get nothing in return.

u are jus going further further and further away from the man of my dreams.
from the one i thought i used to know.
i will not have any hopes expectations or surprises from u. i will jus live my days day by day.

all thanx to this meaningless word call trust..

Life Is A Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who cant speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didnt clean or sweeep
Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around

Life is a gift
Live it
Enjoy it
Celebrate it

**life's full of ups and downs
cherish your loved ones
dun make mistakes which you know you cant redeem forgiveness for..

plain madness

baby javier hit one month old yesterday,
and so there was a mini celebration held at dear's place..

surprisingly, my sweet and thoughtful dear came over
to see mi at close to midnight..
brought over my cam to show mi pics and vids taken of javier too..
how sweet can anyone else get,
knowing that there's still work following day...

and so i brought it over to my mom to share the pics..
and den it all started..
i know since all along mom have been unhappie
bout mi being kept away frm baby this long..
i guess no one was happie bout it too.
but its a painful choice i have to make.
since i came down wif chicken pox..

mom have been waiting...
for an opportunity to chance upon, all along.
i know.
by passing sarcastic remarks obviously directing them to jiawei..
she is jus pushing her limits, testing our patience
and challenging us in a way..
and after all that she's done, she allowed herself to get away but denying it all.
hows that for someone u would cal ur mother.
she jus leaves mi feeling disgusted. ashamed.

and jus as i've predicted, she jumped on her feet
and happily shouted at the top of her lungs
when jiawei only tried to approach her why the sarcasm.
why the need for a sarcasm..

nv in my life have i tot that a day like this will happen.
im sorry to u bro.. for making u part of the quarrel.
im sorry to daddy for making u break that chair in a fit of anger,
for puttin u in a difficult spot trying to come in between
and stop everything..
im sorry for the cause of u being cornered like a small kid
and get scolded for not being a man and doing the rite thing
and being looked down upon.. im sorry..

im sorry baby.. for having such a mother..
such a mother whu have never cared for mi..
never spared a thought for my feelings..
never once taught mi right from wrong..
never was there when i needed someone A mother..
never once brought mi to school..
nor fetch mi back..
never once saw any of my sch teachers
during any meet-the-parents..
never once encouraged mi for my results academically or
career wise..
never once approved of my wants.. and think badly of mi..
the list goes on..

im utterly disappointed in u.. the one i cal mommy..
wat the hell in the world are u thinking when u did those acts yesterday.
she mus have been deaf not hearing ur pleas dear God..
im sorry.. that was not wat u hav planned God i know..
she must have fallen into some dark hole filled with
thoughts only for herself.
everything and anything about jus herself.
but please do not help to lift her out of that dark hole dear God,
let her self-filled thoughts be turn into misery and anger and
regretfulness and loneliness for all of her selfish and disgusting acts.
she deserved it all..
she really deserved it all..

**im sorry gers.. jaas and yiling darlin.. that i have to turn u both down after planning and promising and yet not keeping up to it..

darlin.. please dun stay too muddleheaded for long.. u know u can get very soft hearted if it goes in the long run.. u hav to know wat u really wan.. but watever decision u make.. u have my support okies.. whether to wait for him.. or to really face up to the fact that it will all be over once his gone.. u've been there for mi since long too.. there's no need to thank mi darlin.. im glad u cried ur heart out tt nite.. its good to really let it out.. :) but dun make it a habit okies.. if not u will carry the name ku bao.. hor..

tk cr all my frens.. out there i may not know how u peeps prioritise family frens and love but to mi.. all seem equally important now.. please learn to treasure everything and everyone u have now.. before changes intervene ur life and forever distort or transform ur lives..