- jus had a mental block staring at the screen for bout 11mins.. -

tryin to recall the whole of yesterday...

woke up feelin tired.. back ached.. but tot i might hav a chance of meeting up wif dear.. so hurriedly got up and prepare for sch.. lessons went well.. attended internet security and administration lec. den accompanied dear in the library.. till my lesson starts.. entrepreneur was ok.. den had proj discussion at bishan coffee bean wif aini.. den met up wif sis.. wanna say so much here.. but i jus got no mood at the moment..

i dun know wat i wan.. why.. seem to be even stucked with my own keyboard and fingers..
hate this feeling..


leave it..

exlicit content removed..

wanted to blog once i got home.. but.. yada yada.. dilly dally here and there.. haha.. rested abit le den finally got down to blog.. hee..

was thinkin bout baby.. we stayed over each other's place over the weekend.. i stayed over his place on fri.. told mum and dad.. they acknowledge le.. hee.. finally see no protest.. den baby came over on sat.. hee.. sweet sweet.. hee.. den i remembered.. baby jus bath finished den i was wondering how come he smell so nice.. hahha.. den i should hav taken down the expression on his face.. hahha.. i ask wat shampoo or shower bath he used.. he say green one.. hahha.. jus nice my doggie shampoo is green in color.. and i bathed him tt day too.. hahha.. den i guessed i scared the shit out of him.. he tot he used the wrong shampoo.. hahha but after i checked it turned out tt mum brought home a new shower foam bath.. hahha.. squeeze out only is foam le.. so fun.. im usin it now too.. hahha.. baby u so cute..

hmm.. did tutorials yesterday.. hahha.. so guai.. even danny kor say mus reward mi lei.. hahha.. he's gonna buy mi ice cream.. ended up slpin late last nite.. and skipping this morning's lec..

hmm.. today lab lesson cancelled.. cher not ard.. bloody hell they should inform us earlier rite.. hahha.. den i think i wun come to sch.. hahha.. anyway i went to bishan wif jw and aini.. hee.. we had ya kun.. den i thought of serene.. hmm.. miss her.. but shall meet her very soon le.. hee.. shall not expose any of the sort here .. hahha.. i had a little chatting sesison wif gerald and papajo and aini in one of the tutorial rooms.. tts while waiting for an available lab to do out proj.. but haiz.. waited so long later we ended up leaving le..
hahha.. but i believe we all had a good time chatting.. bout so much.. hahha.. shh...

later we gonna watch movie after babys lesson.. hee.. book tickeets le.. hmm.. shall go bath and slack awhile first.. cya peeps..

fana.. take good care okies.. get well soon.. cya soon tml.. i got u something hee..

not once but twice in a row..

i'll nv forget the look u gave mi wif ur eyes starin so fiercely the previous nite.. u know wat it tells mi?? it tells mi hatred.. tt u only hav hatred for mi.. cant wait to jus simply give mi a tight slap.. wat did i do wrong.. den again the following nite..

wat happen??wat the hell.. jus wat the hell did i do wrong?? estimated wrongly?? did i not cal u ?? its not as if i go out play? chiong? or at a fren's place.. im sorry.. i shall sit on ur shoes and ponder on myself.. i did not keep to my word bout going off in a short while.. i took longer than fifteen minutes.. we cleanly forgotten all about the whole stack of uncounted plates and containers back at the pantry.. we only concentrated on those outside ones.. we over estimated the amount we had to clear wif jus so little man power.. yea its our fault we handle it too lightly by having only three full time stayin back.. but tts the only amount of full time we hav in our outlet.. other than the manager himself.. but are you even interested to listen to my explanation? no.. you are too angry yourself to even cool down to catch a breath..

all these.. will u wan to listen to mi?? if i had said it out? you were boiling.. u were fuming mad.. u cant jus take in watever i say.. so wat for i say.. u will only say.. 'oh so now its my fault la.. ' so wat now?? how do u expect mi to carry on the conversation when its already not a conversation??

hav i been misbehaving? hav i always been playing missing in action? so hard for u to find? this is the very first time i cant account for my absence for u.. but tts also because im at work damn it.. its only the very first time..

whu would love to get shouted at after a long hard day at work? of all things..........

i know u are tired.. i know i eventually got u out of the house jus coz of mi.. i din mean to..

you know it.. that i hate i hate and i hate most to be shouted at.. of all things.. u had to jus do it your way.. and its only the one and only time i got too carried away wif my things.. and u had to flare up this way..

is it tt u are tired of mi already? tt im getting on ur nerves already? tts every little mistake i do will get u mad.. pls prove mi wrong i hope im really wrong.. coz u can jus flare up at mi at the slightest..

.. i tot u would understand tt there's a reason if i do not attend to my every calls .. i know i cant make u presume im still working.. but i did told u before tt i'll be late.. din i? all my frens say they were so so envious of mi.. coz i hav such a caring one.. to pick mi up.. to come out at such an hour.. i too felt touched.. really.. i feel good.. but at the same time i know im in for some shit.. so.. jus as expected..

its all my fault.. i should hav worn my expensive new watch.. i should hav carried my phone along wif mi all the way.. i should hav go checked my fone once in awhile.. i should hav.. but i din.. its all my fault..

u in the wrong?? of coz not.. u were jus concern bout mi being late home and my safety.. wat the hell am i thinkin.. how could i.. perhaps.. u are too tired now tt sch starts.. and ur bp raising.. i should hav tot of it.. im sorry im not caring and understanding enuff.. haiz.. how many sorry hav i wasted.. i..............

i jus hate to see u flare up.. really..

tts all i hav to say.. im heart brokened..

pls dun cut mi of like tt in the future.. i got.. haiz..

once again i hav to be shouted at..

its half past two and i jus got home from pubbing at meridien wif my grp of close sst gers.. coming to terms tt we are closing soon.. tml would be my last day at work le.. i miss them!! haiz..

with the great appreciation from dear who came to pick mi up.. so i wun hav to spent money on cabbie or sit fren's dad car.. love ya.. but i had to spoil the nite.. yea.. its mi who started it..

baby im sorry i got u to misunderstand mi.. i dun mean to even throw a temper at you or to find fault.. bleah.. shall not blabber much here.. jus wanna say.. u were not u when u flared up at mi.. i was really jus so taken aback.. tot u jus simply wanna give mi a tight slap and ride off rite away.. wif those glares.. i held back baby.. i was.. WAS scared.. but jus din wanna show it.. hope u dun get to see this entry.. i wun wanna tok bout it anymore..

im sorry..

now tt baby's in my living room.. i thank God for everything..

shall read mails le..

nite peeps..

had a tiring day today.. lesson at nine.. was late as usual.. but least i attended the lesson.. better late den nv.. hee.. met baby after his lesson.. baby went ahead to book for his advance theory le.. hmm.. when will be my turn.. hee..

attended IT in logistics lec.. when i can rest and laze ard for another hr.. haha.. coz nowhere else to go.. yea.. so im glad im not takin tt module.. i can slp rite thru the lec and no doubts bout it.. haha.. borin sia.. the lecturer.. is those kind loh.. haha..

den i had entreprenuership.. yea in tht room beside bpos.. haha i missing tep times.. den later realise i wasnt in the same grp wif aini fana le.. haiz.. dun mention le.. haha.. nvm la.. whu ask mi groupin time din go sch.. haiz. so i end up wif budi and another two guys frm sbm.. how nice.

glad budi was still ard la.. but today's discussion din go well either.. i was blur.. cant expect anything much from mi since we met only like five mins ago.. den haiz.. all damn quiet kind.. die la.. den i really wasn working well in the brains le.. got no ideas to share.. siao liao.. den realise they made mi the leader too.. wth.. haha.. haiz. cher come den the two guys say mi and budi not talking.. only they contributing to the discussion.. haiz.. help mi somebody.. die liao.. din feel good bout it le.. haiz.. i hope things will turn out fine.. i believe it will be hard.. coz we hardly know each other. how to work together? and to even produce something?? i really hope things turn out fine eh??

later went to scan admin den decided to skip lec le.. too tired.. scared slp in lec sia.. saw jasper.. dewen.. baby say he saw jasper too.. hmm.. later got to realise joy finally finalised her stuff and is now in my grp wif fana and aini and johan.. hmm.. shall try to work really hard this time.. i try..

angry however..

had a hair trim.. hair had grown long and i dunno since when i had a trim le.. too long.. din take good care of my hair condition too.. haiz.. too dry and blah blah.. haha..

sis.. jus would like to leave u a note here.. can understand the feelin of joining a new batch and not having the same ppl ard u to pass the day.. but i hope u will do okie in time to come okies.. slowly ba.. anyways.. concentrate on studies can le.. not whether ur gers are there anot..wats important is they stay in ur heart.. i believe they've not forgotten u.. its time we find a day to meet up and chit chat okies ma?? i hope to hear from u too.. hee.. soon okies?? im only working till this week end le.. sushitei closing down on 21st.. haiz.. haha.. den i'l not worry not having the time to dine wif u le.. next week ba.. hao ma?? hang in there.. love ya sis..

baby.. i miss you..

was quite bz recently.. it was my birthday.. hee.. some of my frens might think its rather pathetic.. spending ur birthday working away.. hee.. but i was fine and rather had fun working.. if not i also not doin anythin else.. besides on my birthday.. my sst gers celebrated my birthday for mi.. so sweet rite.. haha.. thank you so much.. especially to joyce june and zhenbei.. joan and angie and peiru and annabelle.. hee.. belle played an imp role tt day.. by tryin to 'act' normal tt day huh.. haha.. thankz thankz.. im really gonna miss you gers very very much.. really.. mus keep in contact okies..

baby im sorry i forgot u might took effort to take off jus to accompany mi tt day.. im sorry darl.. i appreciate the effort okies.. and thanx so much for all the trouble for the ice cream cake and presents.. i liked my new my melody cup and soft toy chain.. thanx to my sst gers.. i like my almond roca chocolate.. tts my fav amongst all chocolate.. hee.. but too much is no good i noe.. hee.. and thanks johan gerald and jon.. for the cute little pig.. i got a pig from u guys last yr too.. thankx.. really.. i will be able to create a pig farm soon.. hee.. thankx for a new bag from yasi.. and not forgetting sis.. thanx for ur little present.. :) baby.. thank you for the lovely presents.. the cake the time and effort spent.. really.. hee.. haven got down to really thank u.. but i was happie tt day.. really liked the watch and the jacket u got mi.. jus tt.. it happened to be of the same as a good fren of mine.. not to expose too lightly.. hmm.. anyway... i hope i did not offend anyone in any way okies.. no hard feelings.. peace to tt..

den on the day after my birthday.. the day sch reopens.. hee.. attended sushi tei 11th year anniversary dinner and dance.. it was held at new park hotel.. met up wif frens.. den went for the make up and styling.. haha.. had fun la.. drank only two glass.. haha.. ate very little though.. drank den danced.. den soon its time to go home.. haven got thetime to update the pics.. or should i say i nv really sat donw to do my pics.. jus too lazy.. its gonna be my last week working at far east sushi tei.. this coming fri sat and sun.. and den.. hmm.. i think i shall take a short break den maybe go look for other part times ba.. :) or i shall jus depend on my baby.. wahhaha.. muahahha..

sch reopens again.. and im already into my second week.. hmm.. grouping week's over.. now its time to start chewing up on notes and tutorials.. its my last yr last sem anywayz.. i hope to enjoy my last sem here... hmm.. hope all things go fine..**

baby.. jus a word to you..
thank u for having dinner wif mi after ur long day of sch.. i appreciate tt.. u did make my day somehow though it was going to end..u kept ur word afterall.. haha.. i even forgotten u said something sweet the nite before.. i promise not to anyhow think.. i'll try.. at the same time.. i hope things so well wif u and her and all ur frens.. i dunn wanna be an unreasonable b i t c h by gettin all paranoid over things tat are only imaginable.. baby help mi okies.. i hav so much more to say.. if only i could..

i love you darl..

nite..

happie birthday to you johan.. may all ur wishes come true.. and stay happy always..

yawnz..

its tuesday.. the beginnin of a new week.. my sis.. and dear.. those in business sch.. all started their last semester le.. i've still one more week of holiday to go.. hmmz..

baby in my living room now.. watchin tv.. hee.. my bro.. gonna miss him in the coming few days he's not ard.. he's flying to cambodia.. haha.. for his mission trip.. sort of.. haha.. haiz..

these few days hav been rather tiring for mi.. weird.. backache.. den ankle ackle.. den heart ache.. seriously getting old le.. haha.. haiz.. dunno wats wrong wif mi too.. maybe its jus the sleep sleep and more sleep syndrome.. hee.. anywayz.. gonne go out to call dear in to sleep le.. take care peeps..

oh btw.. am looking forward to my dinner and dance on the 7 of nov.. which is also my first day of sch.. which is also one day after my birthday.. haiz.. my bro will not be ard though.. haha.. weird thinking bout how much boring it will be..

nite peeps..