A Very Touching Love Story

It's a cold February night. People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm.

It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots. Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people. Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?

"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy." One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief. "Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!"

"You are fortunate." Another nurse says. "Some people don't have anyone waiting for them."

"You mean Dr. Shu?"

Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name.

"Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?"

"Of course I do." A nurse shudders. "I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."

They are talking about how I was last year. They are correct. I was out of control, like they said.

"You can't blame Dr. Shu. If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well."

"Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you."

The two nurses are too late. I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall.

"Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"

Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me. I awkwardly step out. The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush. Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates.

"I'm waiting to go home." I pretend that I didn't hear anything.

"Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work. It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!" She waves goodbye.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.

That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway. Even though no lover is waiting for me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.

After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat. I forgot when I first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day. At that time, I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair. Cats don't cry, I do. That's the only difference.

"Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you." I threatened the cat. Her name is Christine, my least favorite English name. I don't know why I named the cat Christine. Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me, but her eyes are complaining about my severity. Her eyes remind me of someone I used to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.

A year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him.
"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone."

"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his tone.

"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."

E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is.

"You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't use any romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.

"I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day??" He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight with him again.

"You are not romantic at all!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?"

"Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel."

"Your life is so boring." I made a face at him. "One recent drama was really good. You should have watched it."

"What's that drama called?" He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV and movies. He always thought they were lies.

"It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered.

"What kind of trashy plot did it have?"

"What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry. "That drama was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called 'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri." I wonder if he knew who Nana was.

"Nana, I know her. A Greek singer with really expensive albums."

"Her voice is worth it." Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't bring myself to admit it.

"Whatever." He glanced at his watch. "I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the plot. After that, I'm leaving."

I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes. The drama portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years, from 1901 to 2000. Each generation was portrayed by the same actress. The story was tear-jerking.

"What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story.

"Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a screenwriter."

"If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV station can go out of business." He quickly interjected.

"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!" I was so mad that I went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee.

As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online.

Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that happened, he would always come over to tease me.

"Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you smile." In other words, I'm really ugly.

"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit me??"

"Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued.

"Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.

That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class.

"You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us.

"We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him.

"My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It's not like I don't have eyes."

"Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him.

"Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.

I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms.

"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other.

Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.

Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors. We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom.

Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other. We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together.

After graduation, we became an item. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other.
In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints.

Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone.

"Hello." He picked up the phone.

"I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure.

"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it."

He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again."

"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each other?

"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.

I'll eat dinner by myself."

"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."

"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for??

I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work.

Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument.

"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."

As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney.

"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood.

"Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die."

I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped

"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't lose our calm.

But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!

"No..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.

I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my lover. Even though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love.I still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die!

I threw away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with his silence.

Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my mouth.

"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced them.

"He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.

"Dr. Shu, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand what you're going through, but you're a doctor."

Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card.

"I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to knock the life back into his body.

"Take her away!" That day, I lost my control and my professionalism.

And that day happened to be Valentine's Day.

Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day.

They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several times but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me and got hit by a large truck on the way.

When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish.

Like an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore. After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore.

Now, I'm only left with a cat and a seldomly used computer. Stepping over the cat, I turned on the computer. Even though I know no one will send me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day.

Meow, meow. I looked at Christine to see what's wrong. She finished her milk. I went into the kitchen to get her more milk then came back to look at the computer screen.

I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100 junk mail?

I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail, and this one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until today.

We apologize for the delay." The sender was my ISP.

I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have sent these?

With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to play.... "Only Love". I couldn't believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy. I almost thought I was in a fantasy.
Most touching of all were the words underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful poem.

"Hwei."

That's my name.

"Knowing you so many years, I've never sent you any flowers. Today I send you a rose."

I received it and it's so beautiful.

"You know we are always fighting. We can never really open our hearts and tell each other how we feel."

Yes, but it's all your fault for being so distant.

"I know I always make you mad by the things I say."

Good that you're admitting it.

"But today I want to say to you: I'm sorry, and I love you."

I waited so many years for those words.

"And I want to tell you a good news. I finally saved enough money."

You already have enough money. Why did you need so much?

"So Hwei, let's get married!! I was afraid to propose to you, because I didn't trust in my ability to give you the good life you deserve. But now I've saved enough money so we don't have to wait anymore."

Who wanted you to wait? I'm already yours.

"Today, I use this card to propose to you. Will you marry me, Hwei? Will you?"

That's the content of the whole card. Like a fool, I kept reading his words and talking to him. It's like I can hear his voice and see him again.

As if it's back to 1 year ago with us constantly fighting.

The song played over and over. Repeating Nana's heartbreaking voice.

Only love can make a memory.
Only love can make a moment last.
You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung.
and I remember you then when love was all,
all you were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."

The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and coldness that will never go away.

"Will you marry me?"

When I read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard.

Will I? If he's in front of me, I will definitely kick him and call him a big fool. If I wasn't willing, I wouldn't have waited until today.

So I moved the cursor over the "Reply" box, and typed the response that I've already prepared for so many years - "I will."

I will - be by his side for the rest of my life. I will - fight with him forever. That is how I answered him, but the only response I got was the repeating song "Only Love."

Nevertheless, I opened every single letter, accepted every singled rose, and typed the same response: "I will."

I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for 1 year finally got reconnected.

I answered you. What about you?

end of story..
... a story adopted from a good fren who introduced it to mi.. thanx celine..

happiest hours spent is wif dear..

jus back from supper.. had a long day.. but i was happy.. all seem so fine.. jus the way i always wanted.. geez...

nuthin much over the weekend.. went to work on both weekends..

..

jus return from bout nine minutes of staring into thin air..

fridae..24/06
my baby called to ask mi to sleep.. after we put down he called back later again jus to make sure im alreadi in bed.. said there's sumthin he wanna get.. and he wanna show mi sumthin as well.. hee..

saturdae..25/06
went to work as usual.. but i was early.. i was on mornin shift and i was EARLY.. hee.. din sleep much though.. but dun feel tired.. Imanaka san came tt nite.. and again.. i was so happie to see him.. i had always been the only waitress to serve him his drinks.. haha.. my frens would always tell mi.. 'ade.. ur favourite uncle here already'.. haha.. cold sake and a warm cup of green tea.. if he orders kakiage don or hiyashi chuka soba.. den i will always bring a saucer of vinegar for him.. hee.. tt nite.. he ordered fried garlic rice and tebasaki teriyaki.. but.. sad.. coz he only finish bout half of the fried rice and only ate one chicken wing when theres five on the plate.. jus he din hav the appetite or else it muz b the food tt's turnin him off.. prepare to bring the present i made for him next week..

he's jus one customer i made close fren wif.. u wouldnt believe if i say he's already 70 yrs old this yr.. he seem like bout forty plus fifty.. feel a sense of peacefulness whenever i speak wif him.. poor old lonely man.. he has three daughters.. all married.. and he's living alone.. good thing he's still teaching japanese to pass time.. he teaches at most of the CC.. inluding the one at bishan.. and i also caught up wif him one evening after returnin from sch.. hee.. why am i makin an introduction bout him.. haha.. anyways.. i always look forward to meeting him each weekend..

sundae..26/06
almost late for work.. nuthin much.. tired le.. had ji pa fan.. chicken chop rice for lunch.. nice.. dunno if hav chance to bring dear go eat not.. got this stall sell the fish hor fun.. even nice.. i dun quite like fish also eat till so shiok.. haha.. got chance mus bring jw ah.. aini ah.. and i bet serene will sure like it de.. hee..

went home waited for dear.. presumed dear will come over to get his thumb drive back for project.. i should've bath first instead of waitin for dear.. he reached ard 1am.. dear asked if im tired.. i said no.. he asked if i wanna go his place.. i said why? he has got project to do wun i be disturbin.. den dear say.. 'actually i jus wan u accompany mi only'.. awww... hee.. so i faster pack my stuff le loh.. den go over to his place.. bathed..
den he tucked mi in and asked mi to sleep.. i jus stared at dear.. so long since i last saw dear so serious at work.. but he wanna ko liaoz.. can see.. finally when we go to bed it was at 430 am.. but we only finally slept at ard five ba.. hee..

monday..27/06
din go sch coz i couldnt get up in time.. informed ms soh through gerald.. den went to sch only at 12 for dear's lesson.. printed his project out.. pissed him off while doin tt.. coz i din noticed the phone ringing.. sad..

den went to meet him pass over the project.. sat at mac.. saw her and her.. ... den decided to go look for jw and aini in the mean time.. later met dear again after his project..

left school..

went to hougang get some lunch.. dear had wanton noodles instead of his initially ji jiao noodles.. sad rite.. but dear din hav the heart to return and change his noodles.. definitely no wastage for dear!! hee.. went to UOB too.. went to ask bout opening a saving's account... haha.. dear keep complaining bout the girl who served us for not being able to 'build rapport'.. so much compliant.. haha..
later on dear's hair get trimmed.. den went walkwalk.. waited for cx.. so din hav much time left to visit doc for mc.. while at hougang mall.. we were deciding if should we get mc at hougang instead.. so wanted to check out the price .. and the opening hours.. dear was so sweet to ask mi take a seat while he go check out the timing and all.. gawd!! really very nice.. den headed back to bishan to catch our movie.. Initial D.. yea.. its a good show la.. but haiz.. audio sumthin wrong leh.. went off suddenly.. and at the wrong timing summore.. stewpit..
den the whole theatre went like.. 'ehhh.. refund refund!! wa lau!!... '..'GV sux!!'.. haha.. den still got ' 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. Vroom!!!' wahahah.. one by one started to make our own subtitles.. damn farni sia.. my first encounter.. wahha.. but meanwhile dear was bout to burst into a fit of an anger.. could sense it comin up.. glad the sound system was up again.. if not dear would blow his top..

den we decided to go had dinner.. jus coz dear say i only had one meal for the day.. gawd!! he's got project to do loh.. and so darn tired out le.. still insist on late dinner when neither of us are really hungry sort.. aww.... he's really very sweet..

packed punggol nasi lemak for bro den went home le..

happiest hours are time spent when wif dear..

dear took a pic of the sky(while riding on the bike at the traffic junction).. coz i think the clouds were beautiful..
dear told mi to take a seat while he go check the clinic opening hours..
dear said something very sweet while in the cinema.. shall keep to myself.. hee.. many many more.. jus feel very nice.. very pampered..loved..very high over the moon.. really hope this wun end so soon.. im jus beginning to enjoy only..

baby.. u made mi feel like im the little princess..the only one in ur life and eveything else goes well wif u..so long as im happie.. baby i've waited for so long.. i finally felt like i AM ur girl.. ur ONLY girl to be exact.. baby thank you for everythin.. guess it pays off like the way i told myself to be.. not askin u anything more den twice if i feel u dun wish to share.. told myself to be happie and appreciate time whenever im wif u.. tts all tt matters.. who cares whu u wif or wt u doin when not wif mi.. ought to worry and be concern.. and willing to listen to everything and anything u wanna share.. but i promised myself not to probe on u or question u even though i've never been like tt.. jus dun wish to be those gals whu would piss off their dears while tryin to invade on their privacy and taking over their dears' lives and start controllin their every movement.. acting like some big-time suckers.. i bet even mom dun control or restric their sons tt way.. this is jus a reminder to myself so i wun follow her footsteps.. the one im referring to is none other den my mum..

im going to take a rest.. baby knows i dun like visitin the clinic alone.. even if for the sake of an mc.. who would like to go to the doctor sick and alone rite.. independent it may seem but its kinda pathetic i feel.. sad rite.. i will never wanna go alone.. will dear accompany mi always.. ??

'R1 2004!! my dream bike!! whoot!! nice rite!!' dear instantly went gaga on the road as he passes by his dream bike.. haha.. silly guy.. haha..

..

ard last week the tue meet sis.. she came over ard eight.. glad we met up.. exchange stories.. as we chatted she called yasi over.. den they both stayed till late..

suddenly i got so busy wif my phone.. got so many calls coming in.. at the same time.. den dear's was like missing for awhile too.. but he finally called to say he's at cx's place.. haiz.. silly boy..

wednesdae..
dear had lion dance.. i went to look for sis and yasi.. went to carrefour and shop for stuff n walked the fountain of wealth.. i wished and hoped.. ... wished and hoped.. den later went over to meridien le.. stayed there till dear came over to fetch mi home.. din wan trouble dear either.. but dear called to say he comin to fetch mi.. reach my carpark.. dear say need meet a fren.. din wan ask much.. but forgot ask where he go at least.. so left dear a msg sayin i worry.. din like the feelin i get when he says he gonna meet his 'fren'.. went home bathed.. while preparing to go to bed.. dear called.. hee.. and soon he was at my doorstep.. slept over..

thursdae..
till the next morning.. seeing dear so tired.. i went off to sch without him.. hee.. my baby woke up only at 1230.. dear went home to rest.. though i kept remindin him got test next dae.. got his programmes.. and only finally decided to study at nite for his test.. as always..

fridae dear took his test den later went to suntec.. meet his boss..

the followin week.. dear went to work on mondae.. i met up wif dear after sch.. hee.. dear told mi to take my own sweet time.. so happie.. went walk walk.. dear bought another wallet.. sad i din get to buy it for him.. it was my intention to get him a new wallet first loh.. end up he was the one to buy it himself.. dots..

later after dear fang gong.. wei xiang..cx and yasi, sis and asri came over to join us for dinner.. den went home le..

tuesdae.. i went to catch the movie alot like love.. nice show.. enjoyed the movie.. i feel the cloest when we're in the cinema.. dear's mind can only be on the show.. and nothing else.. and the only time i can fully hundred percent relax.. and enjoy the show.. i jus love movies wif dear even at the same old place.. maybe we should try new place eh dear??

wednesdae.. met yasi for dinner.. den she came over my place..

yesterdae.. we went to catch another movie the ghost train.. aini warned it wasnt a good show.. but dear said since i wanna watch it so went ahead loh.. yea.. i was yawnin away in the theatre.. haiz.. dropped the phone on the way outside.. damn!! tamade.. later realised i couldnt hear a single shit le.. haiz.. tamade!! first caught a lousy show.. den i dropped dear's phone.. den i spent dear's money.. on the train concession.. i feel low.. haiz.. not my day.. not tt i dun like using his money.. but i feel very erm.. dunno lah.. den we went home.. and the worst thing happend..

dun wish to elaborate.. but im very affected.. and i feel bad.. and i guess it shall remain in me forever.. very ashamed.. wished the lights were out.. why the hell did i open the door.. fuckitz.. tamade.. haiz.. i dunno wat to say.. i jus wanna bring myself to hide forever.. dig a hole stay in there and never come out.. oh gawd.. wished i knew wat he saw.. help mi.. dear... haiz.. yesterdae was really a bad day..

long long time..

two weeks passed since i last wrote..

jus returned from orchard.. our dear sean drove his mercedes (indeed a retro one=>) ard and actually agreed yesterdae to fetch us(mi and jingwen) to orchard for her photos.. gerald tag along too.. yay!! aini din follow.. prolly she's busy ba.. i couldnt get thru to her.. humph!! bought some taiwan street snacks and hero bread back.. saw monica jie on the way back.. and when im now back in bpos.. sean is nowhere to be seen.. best is ms ho ALWAYS comes in when he's not around!! haiz.. sad..

too much to recall.. and im bad at remembering things.. (STMD)short-term memory disease.. aniwae.. i remembered in the previous week on one of the days i stayed over at babie's place wanting to help him wif his project and roleplay.. *smiles*

we ended up not going to sch the next day.. all coz of mi as i couldnt get up in time.. after i finally got up and get ready for sch.. we got downstairs and it started to rain le.. how nice!?!... so we went back upstairs.. weiren came over soon.. den i slept till late afternoon le.. had dinner den we decided to carry on wif his script roleplay but he insisted only after i bath tat we can carry on.. so i went to bath.. jus nice his jies' came back den half way through i heard some noises and shoutings le.. den i guessed dear cried.. got a shock only when i heard his daddy.. dunno if i should come out of toilet.. but i faster changed aniwaez.. wanna hug dear.. later dear decided to come over my place le.. baby still overcoming his adrenaline rush.. glad i got to hug him.. teared awhile in the room.. later on and he was fine le.. on our way dear bought cigs.. i was .. tempted.. im sorry.. been so long.. aniwaez.. went home to complete our stuff den go sleep le.. glad dear was alreadi fine the next day in sch.. we even caught a movie the erm.. i forgot.. see lah.. stewpit brains.. aniwaez we watched three movies in the recent.. the madagascar, cursed and mr and mrs smith.. lala.. hee.. think should be the madagascar.. watever..

met dear for supper after his work on saturdae..tissue and plaster prata.. iced milo and horlicks.. hee..
had gastric on sundae.. joyce let mi off early.. went home in pain..

tts all i remembered for the previous week.. gawd!!

last week.. my little bro and god-bro's birthday.. went over to ah xi's chalet on the 6th.. celebrated his birthday.. we went down together wif jing jie.. bought him a real interesting present.. economical.. practical and motivational too.. wahaha... its a DUSTBIN.. its a pros dustbin.. bearing the no smoking sign on the sreen.. wahaha when its actually a dustbin for the smokers.. wif the cig holder at the top kind.. watever la.. also practical coz he dun hav a bin in his room.. hee.. bingo..

bought my donkeyass brother a wallet.. nickermann wallet.. 'naked man' is wat my babie calles it.. haa.. hope he likes it.. despite the fact tt he's using it over the one my mum bought him.. sorrie bro i couldnt eat out wif u on ur birthday eve... went home after cut cake session.. no pics to share for now.. needa take from sis.. sis was there at the chalet wif yasi and all ah xi's frens and cousins.. danny even stayed over the nite and booked in the next morning..

glad i saw sis most imp of all.. but remembered i din quite like the feelin i get.. went home to realise i actually din quite like the sis i hav now.. wat has happen.. was it tt we did not meet as often? or was it stress? work? mi? or someone else? dun like the idea of her smoking to death.. guilty somehow.. dun like the idea of her drinkin either.. even hate the idea of her hurtin herself.. i know.. and i mean i KNOW how it feels like when u need a space to explode ur anger but it seems so impossible as though u're stuck in an enclosed area.. but again.. its not worth it to vent anger out this way.. yet i couldnt bring myself to voice it all out in time before she goes out to join the rest.. spent time thinkin though.. prolly its the time gap.. as we've not meet.. i missed u sis.. :`(.. take care..

saw anto alfie brando jaq and ck along the way out of chalet.. ck dun seem to recognise mi or rather im transparent.. haa.. went home time dad called.. and once again i felt like a kid.. a little kido who will get lost once left alone for a short while.. rite at tt moment.. i missed da.. i tot of her.. wat could she be doin den.. i really missed her.. reached the carpark.. got off the bike.. and we naturally started talkin.. i teared.. but i felt good in the end.. coz it was dear im relyin on.. fortunate enuff le.. tts all i tot for the day.. enuff for mi le.. went home..

deciding to skip school coz of two papers.. dear went chalet the next morning.. had fun in escape too.. missed the fun.. later dear went back to sch.. for the nite's campfire.. and turned up at my place afterwards.. ;) .. accompanied for awhile before dear went home le.. he slept so little..

but for mi.. gastric.. i was bed ridden.. din go sch either.. stayed home till i had no choice but to see doc for help.. closed for lunch break.. so i went to clinic only ard three.. BUT doc was late!! and i only got to see her at ard four!! got an injection.. doc preferred it coz i was in pain since middle of night.. wished dear was ard.. i am scared of needles.. who isnt?! close to tears.. but it was great comfort soon as i feel the pain going away.. got home only i see double vision le.. wahaha.. dive into bed rite away.. but at least i got a two days mc.. hee.. and i got to see dear after his campfire..

i was alive and kicking already next day.. cant wait to see dear again.. and and!! i was secretly cycling outside along my corridors.. haa.. wif my bro watchin mi.. at first very paiseh leh.. so big le.. get my younger bro to teach mi cycle.. haha.. but din intend to let dear know.. hee.. it was getting fun as wheeled myself along the corridors.. but still looked like a fool.. haha.. haiz.. cmi.. somebody help mi.. haha..

tts bout it for last week.. haha..

came across our class very own papajo's blog.. miss the time when we would meet for project discussion.. our class leader in everything.. a joker but a very diligent worker when its serious time for work.. his my role model.. haa.. missed my sch mates those out in IPP and sch.. irene, eviline, yuan yuan, johna, fana, karen, peiyi, huiling and celine yong.. not forgetting budi and jon.. hope i din miss anyone.. but i miss DBI0308.. take care ya peeps..

dear was hesitating whether or not to go ubin cycle on mondae.. coz theres a test he hav to sit on tuesdae.. jus as i expected he couldnt get up.. how to?!! when he sleep onli at 6am in the morning.. stewpit guy.. dunno wat he doing either.. silly guy.. siao.. haha.. scold like he dunno.. aniwaez.. went to sch on monday.. bored.. haha.. missed dear.. left sch earlier wif jw and went down to orchard to find ma.. tot im rather weird myself.. tt i've decided to look mum up.. after she said she's free.. aniwae.. ended up making new frens wif aunt winnie's frens fron indonesia.. great fren.. met diana and her mum.. aniwae went to hotel phoenix wif them loh.. later daddy and bro came too.. hee.. eat eat and eat.. went home.. at nite dear came over!! the happiest thing tt happen to mi tt day.. i was was so so happie to see dear.. dunno why also.. machum like miss him so much like many many days never see him.. hee.. hugged rite away.. hugged.. hee.. stayed the nite.. dear study till 3am.. den we went to sleep.. hee.. went to sch together.. hee.. had breakfast together.. hee.. den go library.. hee.. so happie.. like so long nv everything go smoothly smoothly de.. hee.. so so happie.. ya loh.. hee..

but im so afraid i shoke dear's faith.. coz something happened.. anyway.. hope dear meant wat he said.. tt there is still trust.. watever the case.. im very happie nowadays.. i love u dear..

need go toilet le.. very cold.. waiting for jingwen den we going off early together.. now going to meet serene ger.. hmm..