hmm.... dotz dotz..

its the third time.. i wan to meet dear wearing this turtle neck top..
knowing i would meet him.. wore it today.. but told dear im quite tired.. no mood.. should hav shut up.. now i wun know if i still get to meet him today le..

hope to see u baby..

not good not good..

head's spinning...
my neck's stiffed..
jus find it so hard to concentrate on my work.. cant sit properly.. my lower back hurts each time i cough or i sneeze or even laff.. and even when i leave it alone..

help..

guess im jus prolly tired.. anywayz i had a dream.. which seem so so close to reality.. had a hard time tellin myself its all jus a dream.. i dreamt of the girl.. who had the privilidge of being the first to be loved so deeply.. by my baby.. i had an admiration for her.. feel.. she's brave.. to behave the way she wans.. to get all the attention she ever wanted from him.. get him to do her bidding.. definitely more secure in the matters of the heart.. but why had she to spoil a beautiful person.. and changing him for ever..maybe.. maybe everything happens for a reason.. besides i dun really know the whole story..im jus jealous at times when i compare.. coz i noe i can never never.. ever receive the same feeling how she would hav felt years back.. coz its jus deep down in mi already.. its planted and rooted in mi that i hav to jus accept things the way they are.. im different and she's different.. no comparison.. bad for health.. haiz.. aniwayz.. its okie if no one understands wat im sayin here.. its hard to explain though..

anywayz.. i dreamt she looked mi up.. and we had the longest day together.. we went shoppin ard.. but end up bought nothing.. we went ard talkin bout the secondary sch days.. we went singing..den we went to the beach and watch the sunrise.. stayed on to watch the stars.. den she started to open up on the motive of wanting to meet mi.. she said she needed baby back.. pleaded with mi to give up baby.. and let her hav her precious one back.. she said after so long she cant .. jus cant let go totally.. and would wish for a second chance.. blah blah.. and i did the silliest thing ever.. i said okie.. i did not hold on to wats mine for now.. wat a let down!! bleah.. i said fine~ if thats wat she wans.. and i tried to hole back my tears.. and we were there hugging each other as though we are very close good frens.. i did not cry.. den i said i hav a condition.. only after my baby's birthday will i return her baby.. she agreed.. told her..that he is a totaly different guy from wat u used to know bout him previously.. he's more a patient man.. no more a boy.. but he's like a baby at times.. so dun ever try to test his patience or he might return to his old self.. he would like to watch tv late into the nite before he slowly drift to sleep.. he vroom vroom ard.. and gets very stubborn when i ask him to put on his raincoat if its raining.. he would pick u up and give u surprises.. and i tell her things like dun say things which he dun like.. keep telling him to sleep early and not watch too much tv.. he will listen to u de.. (i'll keep trying..) remind him to smoke lesser.. sleep early wake up early.. and trust him most importantly.. dun let him feel u dun trust him or he might think the vice versa way about u.. keep telling him his lookin fine wif his new haircut.. not tt he dun but its the truth.. keep bringing him surprises.. he likes it.. whu doesnt.. blah blah.. it goes on and on..

yes and while im tellin her all these.. im takin a puff.. along the sands of the beach.. yes im smokin.. in my dreams..

nuff bout my dreams.. took train to work as usual.. at the third station, a couple came in.. cant help but keep staring.. that item.. they both look so perfect together.. guess the girl was still tired.. as the train was packed, she leaned on him.. his shoulders.. and he.. embraced her in his arms.. strokin her on the back.. guess the reason why i stared so long is prolly coz i admire their compatibility ba.. their height.. or rather her height.. haiz.. y am i so not tall.. dun ever use the word short on mi.. im not.. jus not tall.. haha.. watever ..

k lah.. got new assignment to rush le.. hope i can do a good one and hand it in by today.. miss ya baby.. huggies..

im becoming wat i dun like bout myself..

help..

ever wondered??

caught this from another site.. rather intriguing..

ever wondered??

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why are there 5 sylables in the word "monosylabic"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?

happie sha lala..

hmm.. i've been starin into thin air.. jus got a mental block for ahwile.. couldnt recall..

fridae..5/8

went to catch a midnight movie wif dear after sushi tei closed..went suntec look for dear.. it was a last min decision at bish.. saw a fren.. which seem to remind us both of another fren.. his good fren.. hmm.. dunno y but suddenly felt gloomy le.. decided to shake off tt feelin.. after which.. dear ask if hungry.. wan bring mi go eat nasi goreng.. i wan.. but stomach abit unwell.. we went there still.. later after reachin i ask dear if will he get mad if i say i dun feel like eatin already.. dear flashed a smile at mi den drove off le.. dear so patient wif mi rite.. haiz.. went home to bath den sleep le.. hee..

sat..6/8

woke up at 315pm.. hee.. msg dear and he was at work le.. brought kino down for a walk den bathed him.. hee.. do my stuff.. a lil tv and den soon it was dark already.. msg dear.. den bath.. den packed my clothes.. lazy to start packing my table and books le.. another day ba.. haiz.. been procrastinatin for so long le.. at nite.. packin my cupboard halfway dear called.. ask mi go slp early.. coz the next day bringing mi go zoo. hee.. ZOO!!! hee.. so happie loh.. hav been waiting.. haha..
but later din know i would even meet up wif dear lei.. hee.. chatted on the phone wif yiling ger.. miss her.. hope she's fine le.. ger gotta recover soon okies.. if not how to take tp... hor~ anyway glad to hear how hav u been recently.. will meet up one day ba..
after chattin liaoz den i changed den went down le.. hee.. dear bring mi go eat nasi goreng.. yeayea.. hee.. got home bout 2am ba.. hee..

sun..7/8

woke up surprisingly at 815am.. hee.. msg dear.. dear cal wif a sleepy voice.. wahhaha.. together wif danny kor and jj.. they picked mi up.. den later we share a bowl of yong tao fu.. nice nice.. hee.. and we were ready to go to the ZOO liaoz.. hee..

way there.. hugged dear.. way back also hug dear..
hee..

anywayz... shall patiently wait for my dear to upload the pics den i can hav my share le.. yea.. hee.. we saw penguins, polar bears.. sun bear.. giraffe.. white tigers, lions, leopards, cheetah, orang utans.. baboons.. hee.. saw them mating too..wahhaha.. hee.. many many more.. but din get to take a pic wif the snakes nor the orang utans.. haha..

though tired le..we still decide to head for escape theme park.. hee.. yea.. we are crazy.. hee..
played whole day le.. tired le.. baby ride us home.. den he came up too.. pei mi awhile.. help mi rub my back.. coz i hit myself while on panasonic.. it was super fast when we ride it yesterday.. dunno why.. even dear felt scared the very first time.. geez..

still i enjoyed yesterday very much.. thanx dear.. :) i love u.. mus be resting now.. take care.. goodnight..

sup jus came over.. got work to do le..

heart breaks..

thursdae.. 4/8

yesterday met my baby.. din go out in the end.. coz celine on mc.. so maybe postpone le..
my sweetie came to fetch mi from work.. den we went to our same old place for movie.. collect tickets.. went to orchard walk walk.. couldnt decide on wat to eat again.. haha.. settled on burger king.. hee.. we both felt like it there finally in the end..

had a talk during our burgerdinner.. yea but i only managed to express myself jus halfway through.. there are so many things which i cant really put it down to words.. i need a break.. am feelin rather lost.. and aimless in direction.. where am i heading.. why am i doin certain things not for myself.. why this why that.. suddenly so many flashbacks.. memories.. yea.. den i begin to compare myself wif many of the luckier ones deep inside.. den i felt its so unfair in life at times.. so much going through at once i felt i need a grip..

tot we din get each other's message across in the first place.. but i was so delighted contented satisfied when we've both realise we reach the opposite's understanding.. tat feelin is maybe wat i call bondin between one another..

so much for a talk wif my dearest..

my baby is havin a paper to sit for this friday.. which is tml.. Human Resource Management i think tts wat it is.. and dear chose to meet mi instead of stayin home ['to hav the pursuit of knowledge as by reading observing or doin a research on a particular module'..] to study.. haha..

yes i know im so very lucky.. dear could've prolly stayed home to relly start study.. but it actually occured to him tt when his attachment starts, he would hav lesser time for mi le.. so tt explains him wantin to pei mi more.. so sweet rite.. aww... wahahahah... relly in paradise..

i know i've hurt him the day before.. i know i owe him an apology.. for all the sacarsm mum did.. she behaved so immature and hypocratic.. and i hated tt!!! shall not disclose coz its nothin nice either..

heart breaks.. how do i show mum the soft sweet and caring side of dear.. tt he can be so understanding to even tell mi to accept mum the way she is.. diff ppl diff personality.. and tell mi not to worry tt it din even bother him so why should i be so bothered bout mum.. how do i know wat to say next at all?!! jus cant accept the true cruel fact tt mum is mum.. why... haiz.. im so very embarassed and sorry bout the whole thing.. i felt the uneasiness in dear.. if not for mi.. he wun be there at all.. the feelin i hav for dear is ful of gratitude appreciation and thankfullness and apologies and debtful.. i dunno how to explain.. i hate mum.. im sorry to all whu holds mum dearest to their hearts.. im sorry but i hate mum.. relly feel disgusted.. at the .. oh forget it.. dun let mi start or all the shit will come out..

gonna work after work today.. at sushi tei.. they so good to let mi hav a timing at 7pm to closing.. no one works tt hours.. haha.. only mi!! haha.. the only thing i worry is timing.. can i rush over intime.. we shall see..

need to catch a breath outside.. its too cold in here le..

miss you baby.. study hard okies..

am so looking forward to sunday.. hee.. am thinkin bout it the whole week le.. since last week when u told mi we were going to zoo.. hee..
be good study hard okies.. mi will buy u a present de..
:)
love u always..

jus back from lunch..

recalling back yesterday.. dear brought mi out to play.. fly kite!! though there wasnt enough wind.. but dear manage to fly it quite high for awhile.. :) dear din wanna give up even though danny was like begging to go.. wahahha.. dear wasnt satisfied or happie bout coming out to fly kite and this was wat we got.. jus wanna keep flyin..but i feel is coz of mi.. coz i wan fly it high.. later dear even say sorry coz we din get to fly much.. i felt so bad its coz of mi.. dear sweat so much.. in the sun..

baby its not ur fault.. silly boi.. later we walked under shelters and along the highway to suntec.. hee.. hot sun.. we all feel baked.. hee.. later went to kbox.. for a short one and half hr.. den back to bish.. took bus.. yea!! bus.. its been a long long time.. hee.. had our dinner den went back home.. dearhughug.. den left le.. wan mi go bath straight away.. so i listened.. went to bath le..

was thinkin back i had a long tiring day but it was fun jus when wif dear.. jus thinkin how nice if dear was still around.. bath hao le came out.. den i saw deardear loh!! sitting on the sofa.. hee.. dear came back.. den decided to stay over.. :) yea.. had our little supper while watchin tv.. till 1plus den go sleep le..

dear hugged mi to sleep.. oh gawd..

slept well..

this morning dear sent mi to work.. and we were early!! even had breakfast.. suddenly i feel we've reached another level closer.. i dunno if its mutual feelings.. but i hope dear feel the same way too..

suddenly it suddenly occured to me that dear's gonna be serving our nation soon ..
real soon .. haiz..

hav completed the assignment from my sup.. this morning before lunch.. till now im a lil free.. but worried too.. coz like got nothing to do.. scared later not graded well enuff.. hmm.. wann go look at movie previews le.. dear was thinking of a movie.. hee!!

tataz..