not good not good..

head's spinning...
my neck's stiffed..
jus find it so hard to concentrate on my work.. cant sit properly.. my lower back hurts each time i cough or i sneeze or even laff.. and even when i leave it alone..

help..

guess im jus prolly tired.. anywayz i had a dream.. which seem so so close to reality.. had a hard time tellin myself its all jus a dream.. i dreamt of the girl.. who had the privilidge of being the first to be loved so deeply.. by my baby.. i had an admiration for her.. feel.. she's brave.. to behave the way she wans.. to get all the attention she ever wanted from him.. get him to do her bidding.. definitely more secure in the matters of the heart.. but why had she to spoil a beautiful person.. and changing him for ever..maybe.. maybe everything happens for a reason.. besides i dun really know the whole story..im jus jealous at times when i compare.. coz i noe i can never never.. ever receive the same feeling how she would hav felt years back.. coz its jus deep down in mi already.. its planted and rooted in mi that i hav to jus accept things the way they are.. im different and she's different.. no comparison.. bad for health.. haiz.. aniwayz.. its okie if no one understands wat im sayin here.. its hard to explain though..

anywayz.. i dreamt she looked mi up.. and we had the longest day together.. we went shoppin ard.. but end up bought nothing.. we went ard talkin bout the secondary sch days.. we went singing..den we went to the beach and watch the sunrise.. stayed on to watch the stars.. den she started to open up on the motive of wanting to meet mi.. she said she needed baby back.. pleaded with mi to give up baby.. and let her hav her precious one back.. she said after so long she cant .. jus cant let go totally.. and would wish for a second chance.. blah blah.. and i did the silliest thing ever.. i said okie.. i did not hold on to wats mine for now.. wat a let down!! bleah.. i said fine~ if thats wat she wans.. and i tried to hole back my tears.. and we were there hugging each other as though we are very close good frens.. i did not cry.. den i said i hav a condition.. only after my baby's birthday will i return her baby.. she agreed.. told her..that he is a totaly different guy from wat u used to know bout him previously.. he's more a patient man.. no more a boy.. but he's like a baby at times.. so dun ever try to test his patience or he might return to his old self.. he would like to watch tv late into the nite before he slowly drift to sleep.. he vroom vroom ard.. and gets very stubborn when i ask him to put on his raincoat if its raining.. he would pick u up and give u surprises.. and i tell her things like dun say things which he dun like.. keep telling him to sleep early and not watch too much tv.. he will listen to u de.. (i'll keep trying..) remind him to smoke lesser.. sleep early wake up early.. and trust him most importantly.. dun let him feel u dun trust him or he might think the vice versa way about u.. keep telling him his lookin fine wif his new haircut.. not tt he dun but its the truth.. keep bringing him surprises.. he likes it.. whu doesnt.. blah blah.. it goes on and on..

yes and while im tellin her all these.. im takin a puff.. along the sands of the beach.. yes im smokin.. in my dreams..

nuff bout my dreams.. took train to work as usual.. at the third station, a couple came in.. cant help but keep staring.. that item.. they both look so perfect together.. guess the girl was still tired.. as the train was packed, she leaned on him.. his shoulders.. and he.. embraced her in his arms.. strokin her on the back.. guess the reason why i stared so long is prolly coz i admire their compatibility ba.. their height.. or rather her height.. haiz.. y am i so not tall.. dun ever use the word short on mi.. im not.. jus not tall.. haha.. watever ..

k lah.. got new assignment to rush le.. hope i can do a good one and hand it in by today.. miss ya baby.. huggies..