heart breaks..

thursdae.. 4/8

yesterday met my baby.. din go out in the end.. coz celine on mc.. so maybe postpone le..
my sweetie came to fetch mi from work.. den we went to our same old place for movie.. collect tickets.. went to orchard walk walk.. couldnt decide on wat to eat again.. haha.. settled on burger king.. hee.. we both felt like it there finally in the end..

had a talk during our burgerdinner.. yea but i only managed to express myself jus halfway through.. there are so many things which i cant really put it down to words.. i need a break.. am feelin rather lost.. and aimless in direction.. where am i heading.. why am i doin certain things not for myself.. why this why that.. suddenly so many flashbacks.. memories.. yea.. den i begin to compare myself wif many of the luckier ones deep inside.. den i felt its so unfair in life at times.. so much going through at once i felt i need a grip..

tot we din get each other's message across in the first place.. but i was so delighted contented satisfied when we've both realise we reach the opposite's understanding.. tat feelin is maybe wat i call bondin between one another..

so much for a talk wif my dearest..

my baby is havin a paper to sit for this friday.. which is tml.. Human Resource Management i think tts wat it is.. and dear chose to meet mi instead of stayin home ['to hav the pursuit of knowledge as by reading observing or doin a research on a particular module'..] to study.. haha..

yes i know im so very lucky.. dear could've prolly stayed home to relly start study.. but it actually occured to him tt when his attachment starts, he would hav lesser time for mi le.. so tt explains him wantin to pei mi more.. so sweet rite.. aww... wahahahah... relly in paradise..

i know i've hurt him the day before.. i know i owe him an apology.. for all the sacarsm mum did.. she behaved so immature and hypocratic.. and i hated tt!!! shall not disclose coz its nothin nice either..

heart breaks.. how do i show mum the soft sweet and caring side of dear.. tt he can be so understanding to even tell mi to accept mum the way she is.. diff ppl diff personality.. and tell mi not to worry tt it din even bother him so why should i be so bothered bout mum.. how do i know wat to say next at all?!! jus cant accept the true cruel fact tt mum is mum.. why... haiz.. im so very embarassed and sorry bout the whole thing.. i felt the uneasiness in dear.. if not for mi.. he wun be there at all.. the feelin i hav for dear is ful of gratitude appreciation and thankfullness and apologies and debtful.. i dunno how to explain.. i hate mum.. im sorry to all whu holds mum dearest to their hearts.. im sorry but i hate mum.. relly feel disgusted.. at the .. oh forget it.. dun let mi start or all the shit will come out..

gonna work after work today.. at sushi tei.. they so good to let mi hav a timing at 7pm to closing.. no one works tt hours.. haha.. only mi!! haha.. the only thing i worry is timing.. can i rush over intime.. we shall see..

need to catch a breath outside.. its too cold in here le..

miss you baby.. study hard okies..

am so looking forward to sunday.. hee.. am thinkin bout it the whole week le.. since last week when u told mi we were going to zoo.. hee..
be good study hard okies.. mi will buy u a present de..
:)
love u always..