sundae//blur

fridae..25/2

went to sch.. din do tutorial.. hee.. bluffed my way through.. cher seem to be in a good mood.. after tut.. went to hav lunch at fj.. aircon so cold.. had fried rice for lunch.. later go library.. sleep.. hee.. wat a pig aint i?? hee.. so cold loh.. aircon whole day le.. later.. went for lab lesson.. tired out le.. after sch went home..

dear today got presentation.. after sch goin for the sbm pegeant show.. after tt went out.. wif danny kor to meridien.. mi slept once i reach home.. till bout ten.. tried to do some work.. but got headache.. rot.. till dear call.. hadta slp early.. morning shift next day..

saturdae..26/2

im one min late.. geez.. hate it when its jus one min.. my card reads 10.01.. so irritating.. haiz.. sorrie dear.. seems like my bad habit coming back again.. msg dear during break.. at ard three.. sushi tei seemed rather busy.. like never before.. cannot rest there while having my break.. so went to eat wif ah fen and victor at the eating house upstairs.. wa they eat so darn fast loh.. and poor mi muz eat fast fast.. got ulcer ma.. pian sia.. haha.. anyway.. good coz can train.. den next time eat wif dear can eat faster.. awhile dear cal mi.. ask mi if i wan him fetch mi.. hee.. wan i wan.. of coz.. hee.. so so happie.. like dear come back le.. i recently feel.. so so cared for.. like a keep seeing dear ard.. realy nice to feel close and i mean really feel it.. not jus sayin it.. dunno la but i aso know good things always come to an end.. i dunno really dunno... if... dunno... haiz... dun think la adeline.. think so much for wat.. stewpid ger..

hee.. anyway dear came over to stay... i went to city hall wait up for dear.. ask him faster come coz i very cold.. i wan hug hug.. somehow.. i feel when dear see mi like kinda happie yet disappointed.. but i din wan to voice out.. like dear seeing mi so kiddie.. so small ger kind.. muz be thinkin how come he end up wif such a ger.. dunno how to say.. but im jus happie to see dear ba.. couldnt help it.. hee.. went home.. watch show.. ate noodles.. mum fried noodles one big plate.. jus for mi and dear.. hee.. we share.. dear.. i wan to say im sorry.. i almost made u angry.. while using the com.. dear keep callin mi.. i keep acknowledging but din give my attention to him.. later dear show a very fierce face.. somethin i wun wanna see if i dun wan mightmares.. really.. so fierce loh.. scared.. but later dear cooled off.. din dare to even apologise later i remind him.. hope dear forgot bout it le.. watever the case i jus enjoy ever moment wif dear.. hope dear sleep well.. actually dozed off rite after we had a little adventure.. silly guy.. hee..

sundae..27/2

woke up ard nine.. with dear.. dear went to toilet.. probably too cold.. wat ya expect.. rite under the aircon lei.. haiz.. poor dear.. later i switched off the aircon.. hee.. dear came over to my bed.. hughug.. till eleven.. still lazing ard in bed.. hee.. end up late loh.. coz i wan to hav breakfast wif dear ma.. hee.. nan de dear willing to hav breakfast leh.. hee.. ate so much.. haha.. see dear eat so cute.. i jus love him so.. hee.. im crazy.. anyway.. had this nausetic feeling since den.. till now.. think im sick le.. scared stomach flu.. very xing ku one.. im running a temp now too.. bro checked and said im feeling hot too.. hmm.. wanna go catch some shut eye le.. leave the posting of my resume till tml ba.. nite peeps..

*happie anniversary to both my good fren aini and fana.. and of coz to ammar and yasser!! hee..

and i love u my dear..

thurs//blur

thursdae..24/2

wanted to be a good ger.. wanted to go sch for lec.. woke up le.. call dear.. ask dear if should i go sch.. well dear said since i wake up le might as well go sch.. so i quick quick go bath change.. end up reach yck saw my frens.. all tell mi lecture cancel.. tiaw~ haiz.. went to sch met up wif celine loh.. den later vash came along and join us at fj.. haha.. we all so surprised to see him too loh..
haha.. for the very first time vash actually tried to attend lecture man!! haha.. but too bad vash.. attempt failed.. hee.. anyway.. we had lunch le.. den mi went to lab wif the rest.. yada yada.. dili dali.. den the rest soon came.. had practical.. haiz.. infront of the com for so long.. did some work.. later went to mac.. had fries and icecream.. hee.. wif jw and all.. was thinking of asking dear out.. but afraid dear tired or busy.. try my luck.. and dear replied to mi.. which was like so rare tt i can actually manage to date dear out.. hee.. coz usually dear ask mi out de ma.. hee.. went to ps.. caught white noise.. coz i keep insisting i wanna watch it..

oh well.. if any of u peeps haven watch yet.. den try invest ur money on some other movies alright.. hee.. it aint a really good one to catch.. was actually already dozing off.. quite a bore.. for mi lah.. hee.. anyway.. went to dear place after tt.. hee.. been like going to dear place consecutively..
anyway.. went home soon after.. hee..

wed//blur

wednesdae..23/2

jus came home from dear place.. hmm.. woke up even later today..

had a dream.. frightening one.. i dreamt mi and my frens.. one group of us and other ppl as well.. we are stuck in this building.. no one knows wat to do.. wat to expect... there were ghost and monsters wif hideous faces out there to catch u if u're not careful.. jus so scary.. the whole place looks jus like a forsaken hospital or an office building.. corridors and rooms.. we tried to hide in this room which looks like a lab.. later found out there are many 'people' out side the room tryin to get in.. we totally freak out.. had to quickly change our hiding place.. found another door.. and clumsily scramble our way into the next room.. din realise this dream had started all the way since i slpt.. geez... giving mi the goose bumps..

woke up and still in bed.. i called dear.. wan tel dear bout the dream but i forgot bout it once i hear dear's voice.. ask dear help mi plan wat time to leave home.. ask dear bout his pants.. think i blur jus woke up.. make dear repeat wat he jus said.. i mean he already told mi how to approach uncle le.. but i still blur.. haiz.. dunno wats wrong wif mi these few days.. really got the short term memory coming up again.. scared.. den recently keep dropping lotsa hair.. and i mean really lots of em'.. hmm..

finally got off bed at 2pm?? den watch vcd awhile.. ate rice and vege.. ah po cook de.. very nice.. surprised ah po got cook.. coz its been a long time since i ate at home other den the reunion dinner.. anyway very hungry loh.. mus try to eat more so can still hope to grow more.. haha.. still look like a small kid man.. bath my dearest kino once i had my lunch.. now kino smell nice nice.. suddenly feel i very long never bring my doggie go down for a walk or something.. took pics.. den i bath quickly.. change up den go amk take bus to find jingwen daddy to make dear pants le.. hmm.. jw daddy so kind.. cut out a sample for mi so i can show dear.. after all the hassle.. went back to yck wait for dear.. going dear place.. once again.. took dinner at dear place.. they had mee.. den mus wrap urself de.. in the lettuce den dip into the homemade sauce.. den eat.. actually is nice de.. is very crunchy and yet tasty coz of the sauce.. but my ulcer spoil everything.. aunt mus b thinking i dun like to eat coz see i eat till like so xing ku.. haha.. the sauce abit sick for mi.. coz all vege one.. haha.. dun like vege ah!! haha.. anyway.. watch finish the vcd wif dear.. hee.. teared wor.. dear still make fun of mi.. later went home le.. feel time so so fast.. wrestle abit abit wif dear.. hee.. been so long since i played ard wif dear le.. anyway.. dear was abit worried for mi.. when he saw the amount of hair that i collected on his floor.. and each time i brush my hair i see a bundle of em on my hands between my fingers.. actually im afraid very afraid deep down.. but din wanna think so much.. hope its jus stress or wat.. den will stop soon.. anyway.. today no sch.. so shiok.. but starting next week is gonna b hectic for mi le i think...

all day.. at the back of my head.. had been thinkin bout sis.. ger i hope u're fine.. and if u're not.. trust mi u will be fine.. everything will b.. take good care okies sis..

nite sweetie.. i love you..
pls no more bad dreams..

tuesdae//blur

tuesdae..22/2

woke up to fana ger's call.. den onli did i realise its 12pm.. haa.. tutorial at 12 and i jus woke up.. how nice.. anyway.. called dear.. told dear i jus woke up.. dear ask mi go prepare first.. den went to j8.. look for dear's shirt.. haiz.. im such a disappointment.. couldnt even remember the color tt dear tried on previously.. i msg dear for the color.. haiz.. tu tu tu so long.. ask so much.. finally saw one black one in the cupoard while they were looking for the size i wan for another shirt.. den so i bought the black one loh.. but haiz.. tts not the one dear wanted.. no more le.. coz not on display either.. but i should hav remembered loh.. hmm.. went to sch.. met dear.. saw anvril.. weiren.. serene.. peeps at sbm.. yada yada.. dear try on the shirt loh.. but i seriously tot it looked great.. din wan show any excitment anyway.. coz its still the wrong shirt i got anyway..

*by the way.. when i met dear over at his stopover.. i noticed dear looking at mi in a way he hadnt been for soo long le.. he used to look at mi that way.. but tt was so long time ago.. i feel so happie dear can still notice mi the way he did today.. i dun think dear know wat im feelin today.. but jus very happie dear noticed mi tt way.. haha i siao liao..

went to look for aini fana at mac.. chat chat awhile.. den went to engineering blk bought wedges and drinks.. den went for lec.. after tt came back to bishan wif jw.. looked ard for shoes.. den went to exchange the top for dear.. den went back to yck wait for dear.. i know i love to keep msging dear.. at times it jus irritate him a whole lot.. but i dun.. aiyah.. dunno also lah.. dear cal den fierce fierce say mi loh.. tolong ah.. next time cal mi can not.. like tt also muz msg.. actually i know.. i know dear dun like to sms tt much de.. he rather cal and talk over the phone.. but i jus couldnt change.. gimme time kk..

went home to dear's place.. since his salon there under renovation.. rot ard.. had dinner wif dear.. den started on dear's report.. but din finish.. anyway.. another day ba..

happie.. jus glad.. so glad.. that things are like more stable than a few weeks back.. i was really thinking heavily.. sserious thoughts.. dunno but i jus feel.. sumtimes it really depends on dear alot.. not much on my side.. if dear's feeling rite and good mood and all.. den everything will b jus fine.. but if dear xing qing bu piao liang den it would spell hell for mi le.. i will: see less of dear.. hear less of dear.. and feel less of dear most importantly.. sumtimes i feel dear jus disappear so suddenly.. like no more a pillar for mi to lean on when i need to.. really feel very terrible.. its not a nice feeling.. i really dunno wat holds for the future.. i always say no one noes the future.. jus so long as im happie now.. its all that matters.. so think i'll jus treasure my dearie for as long as i feel i still hav him ard.. haiz.. this is kinda getting quite sick and tired already.. sumtimes i really wanna know wat dear's thinking inside.. why suddenly will treat mi so cold..

i remember dear told mi a few days back.. if theres one day dear really dun wan mi.. he also wun know how to tell mi.. does tt mean he wun tell mi in the end?? dear cant b tt selfish rite?? dear i teach u kk.. if u really tired of mi le one fine day.. den u can jus tell mi this.... 'ger.. i hpe we both can grow up in life to find each other still as useful as good frens.. so we shall end our courtship here and start our new friendship kkz...' this way dear maybe i wun feel so bad.. like as though i still hav u ard though we no longer together le.. dear.. i really like today though i did alot of stewpit things like forgot the color of the shirt blah blah.. i feel i like finally got u back.. a little closer to mi.. jus suddenly thinkin bout past few weeks.. :`( tts why so glad for today.. haiz..

talked wif sis on the phone today.. found out he called her but the call not answered.. dunno how are things like now.. but i can feel the tension in her when she's deciding to do something which would b last on her list.. tt is to ever break up wif the guy u ever loved so hard yet treats u back so unfairly.. im feelin the pinch for ger.. really.. i hope ger will get over this fast.. come to terms with it k ger.. face it.. and take it as a lesson learnt.. least u learnt something from him.. to learn how to love someone proper.. we hav a price to pay for.. i too learn how to love someone proper from my dearest.. not to take ppl for granted and stuff.. so tts why my price to pay is tt he has taken mi off my feet le.. really fallen head over heels for him.. but at the same time i could jus sense the insecurities tt he give mi at times.. couldnt help it.. this is life ger.. jus ji de im here wif u k.. take good care.. free go splash splash water kkz.. meantime.. buck up ger!! jiayou..

gd nite.. *huggies dear* sayang..

mondae// blur..

mondae.. 21/2

woke up at 7.20am.. tot gonna b late le.. rushed.. went to sch in a rush.. hate it.. but im always the same.. cant change.. haiz.. no wonder dear so fed up wif mi huh.. haha..

cher marked my attendance.. went to buy file before heading to b.504.. for presentation.. hee.. got those jitters here and there.. stammer a litle here and there.. but hope it din sound tt bad.. celine they all say mi was clear hee.. gave mi thumb ups.. hope so.. well for our class.. we did quite well i think.. the best presenter goes to hui ping from the other class... our lecturer say she sooo good till no questions to ask.. hmm.. so i think she mus really b good den.. anyway.. met up wif serene ger for awhile outside call centre.. chatted awhile onli..will find a day to catch up.. saw dear too.. :) hee.. dear kissed mi.. and tt brighten my while day.. really.. went to fj for lunch.. den attend lec.. den went to orchard find ma.. do facial.. wat a painful experience.. im really not cut out for stuff like these.. hee.. pimple also can squeeze till i wanna cry out sia.. haha.. later go work le.. reach home.. laze ard.. msg dear..

my darling at west coast wor.. so so far.. got no call from dear since after work.. usually dear will call.. so i presume dear busy ba.. den helped ma do some typing.. till now.. jus bath finish.. hee.. dear cal onli mi go sleep le..
nites peeps..
*sis.. dun shake heart now.. not at this period.. dun start to get soft onli once u feel his presence.. once umade up ur mind u hav to stand firm.. get it over and done wif.. done wif him.. take care.. we'll see the rainbow soon after the storm okies..

aini ger.. all things happen for a reason.. if u know wat u wan.. den go ahead and straighten things out.. u hav my fullest support..okie ger.. the road ahead is very clear for u le.. but the decision to take which path is still urs.. stand firm.. in any case.. im here okies ger.. :)

love u darling.. nitey.. muamuamuacks..

wednesdae..16/2

dear had training.. dear msg mi quite a few times tt day if im not wrong.. :) took back my test results for marketing research.. hee.. i actually passed.. cher soo sooo lenient wif the marking.. thank god for that.. if not i sure fail like nobody's biz..got 30 outa 50.. haha..29.5 lah actually.. hee..

after sch went to tpy.. aini came along wif mi.. bought toto.. had a hard time queuing up for my turn... anyway went get some twister fries and icecream.. den ger had to go off le.. waited for jingwen.. den took a bus down to serangoon gardens.. first time ever i stepped into SR sushitei.. nice.. beautiful.. the atmoshpere.. onli make mi wanna sleep.. not eat.. haha.. especially the upstairs loh.. haha.. anyway passed john the cookies den went off soon le..

went home did some packing.. wan to pack my table but dunno where to start.. i wan a room of my own.. i need to explode.. y say so??coz i need space.. im feelin claustrophobic already.. dunno why.. like i jus wanna expose my inner self already.. dunno how to explain.. anyway... waited for dear to cal at night before i went to sleep le..

thursdae..17/2

met dear after sch..made dear wait bout five mins.. that pissed him off.. coz i went to get dear wedges.. all along wanted to find a day when i can go out wif dear after sch den i can buy wedges and bubble tea for him so we can hav something to munch on.. but i was too slow.. oh well..

anyway..went to bugis.. took a cab down.. catched constantine.. satanic and holy at the same time.. both mi and dear feel.. maybe we dunno how to watch.. but its bout the heaven and hell kinda stories.. bring to life.. anyway.. walkwalk.. dear sad coz dear went shopshop but cant seem to find anything suitable for himself.. his size all dun hav le.. hee.. not a good day to shop.. or is it mi.. haha.. we both tried on a polo tee.. but after tt we din buy.. abit paiseh but we feel weird weird de.. so no choice end up din buy loh.. nite falls.. later took bus to dear place.. help dear iron shirt for next day.. :) den took cab home le.. slept straight after bath.. tired..

fridae..18/2

tot today not meeting dear.. will do home after sch.. but dear surprise mi wor.. say wan to meet mi after sch..come my place hee.. :D rushed my report out and done by 5.30 but haven got it printed.. so dear waited awhile.. dear din angry..later go bishan walkwalk.. reach home ate noodles.. though jus noodles i like eating wif dear at home.. dear ask mi bath.. i hesitated.. coz i scared dear going home soon le.. wish he could stay but next day got performance.. worry dear dun sleep well enough..

in the end.. dear stay over.. hee.. dear say think he should really start leaving some clothes over at my place le..
hee.. i hear le very shuang leh.. but never anything lah.. later dear naughty.. watched tv.. till midnight.. msg lynette.. reply here reply there.. later dear came over to my bed and hug mi.. wonder why i dunno how to feel angry or fa pi qi but im very uncomfortable wif it loh.. like weird weird de.. if dear.. i believe he will feel the same way de.. next day dear gotta wake up at 7.15 to prepare.. next morning wake up only call lynette.. responsible president aint he??.. jus to make sure she wun b late and all..but.. aiyah.. after dear left.. mi picked up dear's towel and clothes and brought them to toilet to wash.. make his bed.. den try to go back to sleep.. but i lay awake in bed till time to go work..

working is fun.. but tiring..

saturdae..19/2

dear got performance.. din go work.. scared sooner or later wait boss dun wan dear liaoz.. haha.. but no need wory lah my dear is a good promoter can do good sales de if he wan lah.. haha.. wahaha.. anyway.. hope he got drink plenty..

mi worked 12-4 6-10.30
split shift..

sundae..20/2

worked 10-3 6-10.30
morning split shift.. yawnz.. reached home onli did ppt.. better go prepare le.. nites my frens.. nite dear.. dun go home too late..

and before i go.. i love u dear.. huggies..

mondae..14/2

dear lost our band.. while paying a visit to the toilet.. he lost it.. only in such a short half an hour.. its gone.. dear went back to look for it.. dig in the bin.. ask ard.. but to no avail..

i was so so sad.. i dunno if it means anything.. but dear lost his ring on valentine's day.. its meant to be our vday present.. and dear lost it on tt day.. nonetheless.. i din blame dear.. oh well.. dear din wan it to happen either.. jus scared.. that i thought that i might lose dear soon.. coz its a bad omen.. scared..

went to work in the evening.. flowers caught mi by surprise when anvril delivered the flowers over to sushi tei.. yea.. flowers for mi while i was working.. so sweet aint it??? but jus a little taken aback when its anvril i saw.. jus reminded.. jus thinkin.. oh forget it.. got the stares and glares and comments.. from my frens.. hee.. they went like.. oh adeline such lovely flowers.. whu sent de... ur bf ah.. so sweet loh.. i wish i hav aso.. blah blah blah.. smiling so hard i went to staff room to quickly hide my flowers.. but jus not exactly smiling inside.. if anyone knows how i feel..
oh God..

tuesdae..15/2

had lesson in the afternoon.. after sch went to bugis walk walk.. look ard saw clothes.. straight away bought three pieces.. soon after jingwen came down to meet mi.. went to take a look at the ring.. coz i cant take take it feeling scared.. dun like it when im wearing the ring while dear aint wearing it.. i bought another ring for dear.. felt a little better.. jw went off to work.. went home to bath change up den stop at j8 to get some finger food for dear.. hee.. line up quite long tot im gonna b late..

met dear at yck interchange.. den took bus to dear place.. had dinner wif his papa mama.. my first time.. a date to remember.. hee.. talk wif dear.. talk a little onli.. i tear le.. jus start imagining things if dear wasnt ard le.. long time ago told myself b4 na de qi yao fang de xia.. but i.. hmm.. i know.. but the longer it is the harder to let go.. dun u think so?!?!

anyway.. bro wans to use com.. brb..

fridae..11/2

its still the holidays for mi.. woke up at ard three in the afternoon.. bro came back from sch.. to see mi still in bed.. haha.. he laffed at mi..
aniwae.. dear start sch le.. today dear got presentation.. hee.. dear msg mi.. say he think he did quite well.. *happies* glad u did well dear.. dear went to suntec look for boss.. den i presumed went drinking.. till at night he reached home le den call mi.. a little drunk but still on the rite mind to cal mi.. hee.. silly guy.. hmm.. wonder wats gotten over him.. in his drunked state.. he managed to mumble out.. dear .. hee.. why u so short.. so cute.. i love u ger.. ger dun worry.. i got no new gerfren.. i onli hav u.. i love u.. no new gerfren ok.. *wonders* hmm... hope he slept well..

baby dunno wats gotten into you last nite.. to drink so much.. but told myself not to ask so much anymore.. coz i really feel the more i ask the more dear feel uneasy and irritated.. so dear.. in future.. if you hav anything to tell mi share happie or sad come find mi okies.. i'll be more than glad to listen.. dun make mi worry like last nite again.. i love u always..

saturdae..12/2

went to work.. 12 10 split.. the whole day onli one msg from dear.. saying he reach west coast le.. mus b real busy over there..

dear went to west coast.. for performance.. dear gone real tanned le..hmm.. under the sun for too long.. hope dear got drink plenty.. miss dear..

oh ya.. sorrie joyce.. i couldnt go bernard's place.. was quite late le.. besides i jus feel uncomfortable if i were to go.. i did not hav dear's consent.. not tt i hav to ask him for permission.. but i wan dear to acknowledge first.. but dear like dun care if i going or not.. aso nv msg or call.. dunno lah..

sundae..13/2

went to work.. 10 10 split.. wore shorts and slippers.. haha.. went home all dun believe i go work.. haha.. dear came!! waited for mi outside sushi tei.. caught mi for a surprise again.. hee.. went home together.. stayed over.. shared noodles.. dyed his hair.. soon after we went to sleep..

mondae..14/2

Happie valentines' day to all.. woke up at 7am.. couldnt sleep no more.. though i slept ard 3plus last nite.. jus so wide awake.. even till now as im blogging..

dear im sorrie.. we cant meet today.. i purposely dun put my working schedule on v day tt is today.. but u told mi u're not gonna b free.. tt u will hav to stay back to do some important props for the coming saturday performance.. and even said its okie if i work on mon.. tts why i finally told joyce im available today.. but dear later u said u changed ur mind tt u wanna accompany mi.. u purposely de rite?? so bad.. aniwae.. it doesnt matter la.. i understand u hav to do ur things.. besides u also say ma.. like tt u can hav a chance to date other gals out.. rite not?? hee.. k lah.. i try to catch some sleep.. before heading to sch.. i'll b back.. dear wans mi to stay home.. so might b coming home after sch.. before going to work again.. hee.. cant wait to receive my present.. hee.. tot dear still say no more present le.. hee..

aniwae i bought dear a plant to grow.. so stewpid.. last night june let the cat outa the bag.. haiz.. dear know le.. also opened it at my place.. haiz.. nevermind.. shall bring it over some other time..

..

happie new yr ppl!! gong xi fa cai.. stay happie strong and healthy all ya peeps!!

its 11.11pm now..jus put down the phone wif dear.. was looking through the pics irene sent to mi on our int biz presentation day.. let mi recall..

sundae..6/2

went to work.. 12 to 4pm.. so glad i had a time schedule this short on a weekend.. tot can go find dear for dinner or sumthing after my work.. but dear din go work.. went to sch for performance.. went to town after e performance..din go work.. thus no sign of dear till at home.. never mind dear.. another time okies..

went to look for serene.. had a good time talkin wif ger.. i put myself in her situation and i can actualli feel the insecurities in her.. couldnt help tearing to her woes.. all tts happening.. im so unaware.. feelin abit helpless here.. but i know ger wun forget her part of sharing wif mi de rite?? jus realise we always seem busy wif our daily works and all.. but i know at the end of the day we wun forget each other.. tts all tt matters rite ger??

mondae..7/2

went out wif f4.. met up wif irene and joy first.. went to sakae sushi.. later sean joined us for lunch buffet too.. had loads of fried toufu.. hee.. handrolls.. full-up.. paid up.. went walkwalk ard town.. till bout time we parted.. went to tpy wif jw.. bought some last min lingeries.. hmm... took such a long time to decide.. tried on so many times as well.. tired man.. sent jw off at the interchange b4 taking train.. reach home to receive a call from jw cryin.. was worried.. listened.. hope everythings fine now ger.. slept after dear's call...

dear was tired today.. went to sch.. had training too.. din cal mi not once while i was out.. guess he was busy very busy.. reached home onli dear called.. ...
"i reach home already."
"okies.. u dun sound alright.. are u okie dear??"
"no."
"wat happen.. "
"nothing.. "
"later tell mi okie.. u wanna go bath first??"
"okie.. bye.. "

somethin mus b troubling him.. said it was a quarrel.. wif a fren.. later dear din say much.. mi also din press on.. he say next time tell mi.. but i doubt he will.. aniwae.. if some one hav the heart to tell u things.. he will tell u without having u to ask him anything.. so i dun see the point of asking him to share if he doesnt feel like it.. i know dear dun feel good esp in a bad mood already..

tuesdae..8/2

went to work.. sushi tei open half day onli.. 10 to 3pm.. first time see morning shift got soo many ppl.. hee.. let mi count.. er..bout six?! hee.. and i had a hard time cleaning and scrubing those chairs and tables loh.. clearing everything on the counters and tables.. haha.. fun working together though.. but come to think of it again.. even at home i also never so hardwrking sia.. haha..

went walkwalk wif zhenyi and annabelle.. den met up wif bro.. den went home.. had reunion dinner... wif uncle patrick .. played some mahjong.. bored.. missin dear..

had a talk wif a fren on msn.. confessed he had a crush on mi.. hee.. so many classmates had been teasing mi about.. anywae.. we are clear of our status now so no need the embarassment between us already okies..

im onli contented.. wif my darlin baby.. jiawei.. i love u..

wednesdae.. 9/2

its the first day of CNY.. woke up a little feverish.. slep a little longer.. got a call from dear.. but dear ask mi go back sleep.. hee.. wish i can talk longer.. i like waking up to his call.. but i guess he never know.. always wan mi sleep more if he realise he actually woke mi up from his call.. haha.. silly boi..

dear called.. and since no where to go.. went to dear's place.. well bro came along too.. we took a cab.. since i actually took so long to get out of home.. dear say mi take my own sweet time.. haiz.. why mus i always disappoint dear.. stewpit taxis.. waste my time onli.. i could hav taken a bus and reached already!!! no taxi was in sight!! and when there was one.. another family actually snatched it.. argh!! how irritating can it get.. so pissed.. spoiler..

later came my place.. hope it din bore dear.. had steamboat.. lau yu sheng.. den dear decided to stayed over.. later danny and lifeng came over.. together wif dear they went down to attend to some matters.. later cunxi and yasi came over too.. all stayed over.. played mahjong.. till dear felt uncomfortable coz of the cereal he had.. he went to sleep le... i played till 5am.. climbed in to bed wif dear.. hugged mi to sleep.. till in the morning..

while at dear place.. dear say dun love mi le.. got new gf le.. dun like mi le.. den he also ask.. if do i still love him.. i think dear trying to initiate some stuff.. though he sound like joking.. but wil anyone for any reason ask anything like tt?? for i know one thing bout dear.. is that he dun lie to mi.. but tt does not mean he dun keep things from mi.. lying and keeping things are different.. den back at my place.. a msg received at night.. ard 1.45am.. wif danny and lifeng ard.. i asked dear whu msg.. dear say..'my new gerfren..' and smiled at mi.. hee.. i mus be thinking too much le.. i din dare to ask much.. coz im always afraid of hearing things i dun wanna hear.. coz dear dun lie.. i mus be thinkin too much again..

but if i were to piece all the happenings together.. it may seem like this.. dear quarrel wif new gf.. den badmood on mondae.. all the way till now dear new gf finalli msg him le..of coz dear happie ma.. den the next morning dear wake up le.. wanna greet new gf good morning loh.. like tt loh.. dear is like tt ma??

thursdae..10/2

woke up at 8am.. danny and lifeng left.. saw dear write a good morning msg.. i wonder... slept back till ard eleven.. dear woke mi up.. wash up den pack dear stuff.. gave him his vdae present le..all the little things i bought too.. his doraemon too..

actually all these little things are meant to pass to dear as a meaning of an encouragement.. once in awhile as to encourage dear.. if he really improve on his smoking habit.. to reward him or to encourage him.. jus to let him know his not on his own.. but i dun think theres a need le.. coz dear and his promise.. can save for later le.. jiayou k dear.. i will still support u..

went visitin ma's fren place.. kept looking back to dearbefore leaving home.. kept saying bye to dear.. coz im expecting a kiss or maybe a peck on the cheek.. or a hug from dear.. but no chance..no chance.. din wan to initiate.. coz its not nice.. but it would b very nice if... hmm.. dear seem so distracted already.. dunno where dear will go or am i meeting dear later anymore.. i jus feel weird again when its time to say bye..

msg dear when im home.. dear cal.. i feel dear is trying his best not to feel hard trying to talk to mi.. coz his greeting was so sweet.. but the conversation turned so moody and irritating.. this is so disheartening.. so saddening.. i asked bout dear's dae.. where did he went.. den dear say.. tot i told u alreadi.. ya he did.. but i .. haiz.. dear u cal mi today to ask for ur handphone strap.. den onli did i asked where are u.. den u say at ah xi place.. if not i also dunno.. so i jus ask again loh.. i mean u can jus tell mi again rite?? dear..it worries mi to see u this way.. ur not helpin mi to stop thinking.. help dear.. help..

time: 12:03
dear wrote:
^ xIaO_xIn ^ lIfE iS sOmEtHiNg NoT cOnTrOl By OnEsElF bUt DeStInEy DoEsN't MeAn ItS tHe EnD!! says:
dear i love you..
i replied:
◄♠ađeĹЙe♠◄Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear u apart... sick.. says:
baby i love you too..

baby.. why do i tear when u say u love mi?? i love u too dear.. goodnight..

hmm.. i've not been updating recently.. besides it doesnt matter much either.. things have not got better.. not gone worser.. dunno.. this jus a place i put stewpid stuff.. silly thoughts and throw it all out..

mondae..31/1

7 chapt on CRM..and an assignment to hand in.. din feel too good.. went to amk after sch to look for jingwen and aini.. jw rebonded her hair.. and though wif a short fringe she looks style and sweet.. pretty lil princess.. hee.. had a trim wif aini too.. soon after ger went home le.. so i went to catch some icecream wif jw chatchat.. while waiting for bus home.. dear called.. i made him angry .. dunno how.. i jus asked him where he was before i answered him on his question.. and tt jus instantly piss him off.. sad.. okie i was jus a lil over concern.. but it din hav to piss u off like tt dear.. im sorrie..

tuesdae..1/2

gonna hav test the next day.. studied a lil while waitin to meet up wif dear.. all thanx to irene and jw.. hee.. met up and went to ps after deciding theres no where else.. no movies we wanna watch.. so we went walkwalk.. talktalk.. though its jus walkin along the streets.. im jus so glad i met dear.. saw anvril too along the way..

later dear asked wats wif the sudden change in mood.. all that im thinkin.. wats rong?? why am i not sharing wif dear.. tats not the way to keep a good relationship..but i dun see u doin it too dear.. how am i suppose to say how i feel.. out of words to express.. jus feel dear always seems so eager to end the cal.. always seem so frustrating.. irritating whenever its wif mi over the phone..jus never seem to reply to my msges.. baby i feel neglected..

dear said he dunno.. dunno wats troubling him.. jus feel very fan.. foul mood.. tt u jus wanna b in a world of ur own.. dear u R in a world of ur own.. where am i in ur life?? im jus sad dear.. tt u'd rather be all alone and leave mi aside.. den lookin mi up to talk or chat.. wat am i to u.. i jus keep thinking even more.. baby i did not initiate a talk all becoz i did not wan any misunderstanding from u that u hav to be wif mi every day and and all.. thinkin tt u are tired and all.. i should be appreciative for ur calls every single nite.. but why do i feel the sudden change in ur tone nowadays?? there mus b a reason to everything rite?? i dunno.. dunno wat am i thinking wat am i feeling jus like the way u say u din know wats bothering u.. ...

went dear place.. had dinner and all..all was fine.. jus missed dear so much..anyway dear had much fun tryin to scare mi wif a fake spider.. he simply enjoys it.. reach home bath den try to read some more till i dozed off.. im tryin hard to fake it.. not think it..

wednesdae..2/2

had marketing research and xml test tt day.. together wif jw and aini, we went to s11 for lunch den to my place rest.. before going back to sch for xml test.. after sch.. went to orchard.. walkwalk.. shopped too.. bought a pair of jeans.. a black top.. a white bag.. and a white shoes!! i see i like i buy.. somthing very not like mi.. manage to get hold of dear's watch too.. before they close their tents.. aini had to go first.. so we went ahead to coffee club to hav our ice chocolate and icecream.. had fun chatting.. saw an old fren too.. LP.. hee..

thursdae..03/2

stayed back in sch till late to prepare for next day presentation and all...
enjoyed talking to jw and aini and fana.. if not for u ppl i would not be fine.. thanx for all the company.. i did let it out on fana 's shoulder.. couldnt help it.. ...

the lonely quiet corridors jus reminds mi of the time when i was still in SA.. din really do much at that time.. was always wishing dear would see mi participate in activities.. but the only time dear was there.. i was the lousiest..sad.. sad.. dear never got a chance to see any thing nice bout mi.. the other time i tot dear would go for the enrolment too.. long ago le.. but dear wasnt there too.. if i could turn back the time.. i would turn it back to my enrolment day.. its jus tt i will feel good knowing dear's ard mi when im at my happiest.. haiz.. oh well..

fridae..4/2

had my presentation.. woke up at 6.15am.. went to sch.. i was early.. least i wasnt the last to arrive in my group.. hee.. all went fine wif the presentation.. except tt it was quite fun seeing the different groups trying to answer the questions to the answers.. haha.. lance group seem to be shooting gerald's group like nobody's business.. but i hav to admit lance's good lah.. hee.. after tt took pics.. hee.. so fun.. cant wait for the whole class to wear formal together.. to see my good frens aini fana in formal.. den take pics together.. hee..

i made dear angry.. after the cal i felt it was my fault.. dear was jus eager to receive his present.. why did i make a fuss on when to give it to him?? it doesnt really matter at all.. i could have made the initiative to give dear a cal back.. i was..a lil busy.. but i know dear wasnt at all interested to listen to my excuses.. but .. nvm..

aniwae i passed dear his watch today.. saw the happie look on his face.. was glad dear liked it.. was even glad dear forgave mi bout last nite call...

after sch went to look for dear.. took the goodies.. den decided to take a cab down.. to orchard.. all wif aini's company.. glad ger was ard.. if not i would not manage at all.. dear once again seem to be in a rush.. oh well.. passed mi some cash to take a cab down to orchard.. den his off.. seemed so distracted.. went to orchard.. sent those stuff to sushi tei.. den to my mum.. den back to bishan .. to meet up with huifen jie.. den to mac for icecream again.. if not for aini .. hmm.. thanx ger.. so much..
its now 12.05.. and im wondering why no call from dear.. no reply too.. no answer my call too.. dear u so busy ah.. i tot its a dinner?? wat can u b busy wif?? not even a call.. was wondering if u've reached the place safely.. am thinking if u're on the way home now.. or did u go drinking.. or maybe u could really b busy.. pls take care..

*thanx sis.. im fine.. quite alright.. better le.. jus din manage to get hold of u.. catchup some time okie.. take good care of urself too..