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happie new yr ppl!! gong xi fa cai.. stay happie strong and healthy all ya peeps!!

its 11.11pm now..jus put down the phone wif dear.. was looking through the pics irene sent to mi on our int biz presentation day.. let mi recall..

sundae..6/2

went to work.. 12 to 4pm.. so glad i had a time schedule this short on a weekend.. tot can go find dear for dinner or sumthing after my work.. but dear din go work.. went to sch for performance.. went to town after e performance..din go work.. thus no sign of dear till at home.. never mind dear.. another time okies..

went to look for serene.. had a good time talkin wif ger.. i put myself in her situation and i can actualli feel the insecurities in her.. couldnt help tearing to her woes.. all tts happening.. im so unaware.. feelin abit helpless here.. but i know ger wun forget her part of sharing wif mi de rite?? jus realise we always seem busy wif our daily works and all.. but i know at the end of the day we wun forget each other.. tts all tt matters rite ger??

mondae..7/2

went out wif f4.. met up wif irene and joy first.. went to sakae sushi.. later sean joined us for lunch buffet too.. had loads of fried toufu.. hee.. handrolls.. full-up.. paid up.. went walkwalk ard town.. till bout time we parted.. went to tpy wif jw.. bought some last min lingeries.. hmm... took such a long time to decide.. tried on so many times as well.. tired man.. sent jw off at the interchange b4 taking train.. reach home to receive a call from jw cryin.. was worried.. listened.. hope everythings fine now ger.. slept after dear's call...

dear was tired today.. went to sch.. had training too.. din cal mi not once while i was out.. guess he was busy very busy.. reached home onli dear called.. ...
"i reach home already."
"okies.. u dun sound alright.. are u okie dear??"
"no."
"wat happen.. "
"nothing.. "
"later tell mi okie.. u wanna go bath first??"
"okie.. bye.. "

somethin mus b troubling him.. said it was a quarrel.. wif a fren.. later dear din say much.. mi also din press on.. he say next time tell mi.. but i doubt he will.. aniwae.. if some one hav the heart to tell u things.. he will tell u without having u to ask him anything.. so i dun see the point of asking him to share if he doesnt feel like it.. i know dear dun feel good esp in a bad mood already..

tuesdae..8/2

went to work.. sushi tei open half day onli.. 10 to 3pm.. first time see morning shift got soo many ppl.. hee.. let mi count.. er..bout six?! hee.. and i had a hard time cleaning and scrubing those chairs and tables loh.. clearing everything on the counters and tables.. haha.. fun working together though.. but come to think of it again.. even at home i also never so hardwrking sia.. haha..

went walkwalk wif zhenyi and annabelle.. den met up wif bro.. den went home.. had reunion dinner... wif uncle patrick .. played some mahjong.. bored.. missin dear..

had a talk wif a fren on msn.. confessed he had a crush on mi.. hee.. so many classmates had been teasing mi about.. anywae.. we are clear of our status now so no need the embarassment between us already okies..

im onli contented.. wif my darlin baby.. jiawei.. i love u..

wednesdae.. 9/2

its the first day of CNY.. woke up a little feverish.. slep a little longer.. got a call from dear.. but dear ask mi go back sleep.. hee.. wish i can talk longer.. i like waking up to his call.. but i guess he never know.. always wan mi sleep more if he realise he actually woke mi up from his call.. haha.. silly boi..

dear called.. and since no where to go.. went to dear's place.. well bro came along too.. we took a cab.. since i actually took so long to get out of home.. dear say mi take my own sweet time.. haiz.. why mus i always disappoint dear.. stewpit taxis.. waste my time onli.. i could hav taken a bus and reached already!!! no taxi was in sight!! and when there was one.. another family actually snatched it.. argh!! how irritating can it get.. so pissed.. spoiler..

later came my place.. hope it din bore dear.. had steamboat.. lau yu sheng.. den dear decided to stayed over.. later danny and lifeng came over.. together wif dear they went down to attend to some matters.. later cunxi and yasi came over too.. all stayed over.. played mahjong.. till dear felt uncomfortable coz of the cereal he had.. he went to sleep le... i played till 5am.. climbed in to bed wif dear.. hugged mi to sleep.. till in the morning..

while at dear place.. dear say dun love mi le.. got new gf le.. dun like mi le.. den he also ask.. if do i still love him.. i think dear trying to initiate some stuff.. though he sound like joking.. but wil anyone for any reason ask anything like tt?? for i know one thing bout dear.. is that he dun lie to mi.. but tt does not mean he dun keep things from mi.. lying and keeping things are different.. den back at my place.. a msg received at night.. ard 1.45am.. wif danny and lifeng ard.. i asked dear whu msg.. dear say..'my new gerfren..' and smiled at mi.. hee.. i mus be thinking too much le.. i din dare to ask much.. coz im always afraid of hearing things i dun wanna hear.. coz dear dun lie.. i mus be thinkin too much again..

but if i were to piece all the happenings together.. it may seem like this.. dear quarrel wif new gf.. den badmood on mondae.. all the way till now dear new gf finalli msg him le..of coz dear happie ma.. den the next morning dear wake up le.. wanna greet new gf good morning loh.. like tt loh.. dear is like tt ma??

thursdae..10/2

woke up at 8am.. danny and lifeng left.. saw dear write a good morning msg.. i wonder... slept back till ard eleven.. dear woke mi up.. wash up den pack dear stuff.. gave him his vdae present le..all the little things i bought too.. his doraemon too..

actually all these little things are meant to pass to dear as a meaning of an encouragement.. once in awhile as to encourage dear.. if he really improve on his smoking habit.. to reward him or to encourage him.. jus to let him know his not on his own.. but i dun think theres a need le.. coz dear and his promise.. can save for later le.. jiayou k dear.. i will still support u..

went visitin ma's fren place.. kept looking back to dearbefore leaving home.. kept saying bye to dear.. coz im expecting a kiss or maybe a peck on the cheek.. or a hug from dear.. but no chance..no chance.. din wan to initiate.. coz its not nice.. but it would b very nice if... hmm.. dear seem so distracted already.. dunno where dear will go or am i meeting dear later anymore.. i jus feel weird again when its time to say bye..

msg dear when im home.. dear cal.. i feel dear is trying his best not to feel hard trying to talk to mi.. coz his greeting was so sweet.. but the conversation turned so moody and irritating.. this is so disheartening.. so saddening.. i asked bout dear's dae.. where did he went.. den dear say.. tot i told u alreadi.. ya he did.. but i .. haiz.. dear u cal mi today to ask for ur handphone strap.. den onli did i asked where are u.. den u say at ah xi place.. if not i also dunno.. so i jus ask again loh.. i mean u can jus tell mi again rite?? dear..it worries mi to see u this way.. ur not helpin mi to stop thinking.. help dear.. help..

time: 12:03
dear wrote:
^ xIaO_xIn ^ lIfE iS sOmEtHiNg NoT cOnTrOl By OnEsElF bUt DeStInEy DoEsN't MeAn ItS tHe EnD!! says:
dear i love you..
i replied:
◄♠ađeĹЙe♠◄Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear u apart... sick.. says:
baby i love you too..

baby.. why do i tear when u say u love mi?? i love u too dear.. goodnight..