tuesdae//blur

tuesdae..22/2

woke up to fana ger's call.. den onli did i realise its 12pm.. haa.. tutorial at 12 and i jus woke up.. how nice.. anyway.. called dear.. told dear i jus woke up.. dear ask mi go prepare first.. den went to j8.. look for dear's shirt.. haiz.. im such a disappointment.. couldnt even remember the color tt dear tried on previously.. i msg dear for the color.. haiz.. tu tu tu so long.. ask so much.. finally saw one black one in the cupoard while they were looking for the size i wan for another shirt.. den so i bought the black one loh.. but haiz.. tts not the one dear wanted.. no more le.. coz not on display either.. but i should hav remembered loh.. hmm.. went to sch.. met dear.. saw anvril.. weiren.. serene.. peeps at sbm.. yada yada.. dear try on the shirt loh.. but i seriously tot it looked great.. din wan show any excitment anyway.. coz its still the wrong shirt i got anyway..

*by the way.. when i met dear over at his stopover.. i noticed dear looking at mi in a way he hadnt been for soo long le.. he used to look at mi that way.. but tt was so long time ago.. i feel so happie dear can still notice mi the way he did today.. i dun think dear know wat im feelin today.. but jus very happie dear noticed mi tt way.. haha i siao liao..

went to look for aini fana at mac.. chat chat awhile.. den went to engineering blk bought wedges and drinks.. den went for lec.. after tt came back to bishan wif jw.. looked ard for shoes.. den went to exchange the top for dear.. den went back to yck wait for dear.. i know i love to keep msging dear.. at times it jus irritate him a whole lot.. but i dun.. aiyah.. dunno also lah.. dear cal den fierce fierce say mi loh.. tolong ah.. next time cal mi can not.. like tt also muz msg.. actually i know.. i know dear dun like to sms tt much de.. he rather cal and talk over the phone.. but i jus couldnt change.. gimme time kk..

went home to dear's place.. since his salon there under renovation.. rot ard.. had dinner wif dear.. den started on dear's report.. but din finish.. anyway.. another day ba..

happie.. jus glad.. so glad.. that things are like more stable than a few weeks back.. i was really thinking heavily.. sserious thoughts.. dunno but i jus feel.. sumtimes it really depends on dear alot.. not much on my side.. if dear's feeling rite and good mood and all.. den everything will b jus fine.. but if dear xing qing bu piao liang den it would spell hell for mi le.. i will: see less of dear.. hear less of dear.. and feel less of dear most importantly.. sumtimes i feel dear jus disappear so suddenly.. like no more a pillar for mi to lean on when i need to.. really feel very terrible.. its not a nice feeling.. i really dunno wat holds for the future.. i always say no one noes the future.. jus so long as im happie now.. its all that matters.. so think i'll jus treasure my dearie for as long as i feel i still hav him ard.. haiz.. this is kinda getting quite sick and tired already.. sumtimes i really wanna know wat dear's thinking inside.. why suddenly will treat mi so cold..

i remember dear told mi a few days back.. if theres one day dear really dun wan mi.. he also wun know how to tell mi.. does tt mean he wun tell mi in the end?? dear cant b tt selfish rite?? dear i teach u kk.. if u really tired of mi le one fine day.. den u can jus tell mi this.... 'ger.. i hpe we both can grow up in life to find each other still as useful as good frens.. so we shall end our courtship here and start our new friendship kkz...' this way dear maybe i wun feel so bad.. like as though i still hav u ard though we no longer together le.. dear.. i really like today though i did alot of stewpit things like forgot the color of the shirt blah blah.. i feel i like finally got u back.. a little closer to mi.. jus suddenly thinkin bout past few weeks.. :`( tts why so glad for today.. haiz..

talked wif sis on the phone today.. found out he called her but the call not answered.. dunno how are things like now.. but i can feel the tension in her when she's deciding to do something which would b last on her list.. tt is to ever break up wif the guy u ever loved so hard yet treats u back so unfairly.. im feelin the pinch for ger.. really.. i hope ger will get over this fast.. come to terms with it k ger.. face it.. and take it as a lesson learnt.. least u learnt something from him.. to learn how to love someone proper.. we hav a price to pay for.. i too learn how to love someone proper from my dearest.. not to take ppl for granted and stuff.. so tts why my price to pay is tt he has taken mi off my feet le.. really fallen head over heels for him.. but at the same time i could jus sense the insecurities tt he give mi at times.. couldnt help it.. this is life ger.. jus ji de im here wif u k.. take good care.. free go splash splash water kkz.. meantime.. buck up ger!! jiayou..

gd nite.. *huggies dear* sayang..