now wats the big problem wif u.. when u walk out the door.. hav u ever wondered how it feels like if its u being inside the room?? when i at the very least tried to explain myself.. i get smacked down.. its hard to explain feelings and write it down in words.. but haiz..

u wan to know how i feel about u?? at times when u try to sms mi only after the whole thing.. i feel u only wan to act like it wasnt ur fault and u wanted things to turn out fine and well.. but at the point of time when u are angry u are those kind.. cant be bothered much.. so u know how irritatiing it can get?? only after u not angry den msg ask wats wrong and say sorry kind.. jus like i slap u den i ask u why u cry.. it doesnt make sense u know..

all along i tot it was a mutual understanding between us.. that we do not need to explain so much shit to each other jus to get one point understood.. but i guess im wrong.. coz we dun hav the mutual understanding as yet.. its different kind of expectations u hav for frens and for family.. for normal friends..i toking bout normal frens.. u dun spend as much of ur lifetime wif them.. thus the expectation is lower.. whereas for bros and sis.. its the kind of relationship which u dun need a third party to help analyse the situation and can solve it on ur own.. tts wat the precious relationship differs.. jus like .. one look in the eye and the other can understand each other.. no need to explain and say so much.. but it seemed so difficult for us to jus hav a normal conversation without blasting into a quarrel or wat..

i dunno if its egoistic or stubborness.. but u gotta take heeds and listen to ppl and not always have an answer to talk back to others to reason things out.. sometimes jus shuttup and have a time to urself and reflect.. it might help let u understand how come things are always happening and its always seem to be the same case.. and we nv seem to get it solve.. ask urself if could the problem lie in urself.. not necessarily saying u are always at fault.. but no one is perfect..

tts all i hav to say after a long day in sch.. which also leads mi to understand another cruel point in life.. dun wanna talk much as yet..

one thing im really dissapointed im myself is getting myself into a mess wif my bro everytime he misunderstand mi.. its really getting fucking sick and tired of explaining myself already..
another things which matters close to my heart is.. my dear.. i seem to have neglect him on a day like this.. moreover i got no gifts for my dear.. as the only card i made for him is still at my place till this point of time.. which is why im so in a sad moody feeling.. why im dissapointed is coz the more he say 'its okie.. get ur things done asap first..' the more bad i feel.. but im thankful for dear being so understanding too.. at this point.. i come to realise.. lifes too short to go on reminising on sad stuff.. and get fedup wif urself for not being more zhen qi.. haiz.. cant bother if anyone understands.. but shall end here.. its gonna be another long day in sch tml again.. i hope i can get my stuff done sooon.. big thanx to jesslin gerald and jon for helping mi out when im really lost..

sadden..