finally completed the proj yesterday nite after integrating every one's part together left sch at 930pm.. had the system running smoothly.. really glad.. and dear helped mi to feel even better.. by leaving mi a msg saying his on his way to pick mi up.. nice huh??

den i met dear.. got on the bike.. and went crazy.. though my part isnt the main or very impressive part.. i was jus glad wif the help of jon and gerald and jesslin.. i got my stuff done.. really.. so hapie.. den i got dear to share the joy wif mi.. couldnt help being noisy all the way home.. and we ended up making rounds and rounds in bishan jus cause i din wan to go home as yet.. but rite at the back of my head i realise dear's different since he picked mi up from sch..

it was a last min decision tt dear stayed over.. we slept late.. and dear din really slp well.. woked up several times.. and end up watching tv early in the morning at 6 plus.. how i wish i could get dear to slp back wif mi.. but i din wan to force him.. since he cant get to slp although i believe his very tired.. wat to do.. im without the warrant card..

*** on call ***

now i see wats all the prob.. i was the prob.. it was all because of mi.. really.. not that i wan sympathy or empathy.. but i was the arise the cause the come about of the whole thing.. because of mi, he wans to stay and give company.. because of mi he wan to wait at the library and bring mi out happy.. because of mi he lied saying he wasnt angry..

because of mi.. can any one help mi? wat to do wat to say..he all doesnt know anymore.. he asks mi.. but wat can i say when its all because of mi??

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jus yesterday.. i felt i was very lucky to hav u..as my gers arent working things quite well wif their dearies.. coz baby u are very understanding.. and stood by mi and helped mi out mentally.. though u cant give much help technically.. told my gers tt this is jus one small test between a couple and if even a small test like this also cannot withstand.. den it jus shows how strong the both of u are..

yet instead.. its all the cause of mi now that things happen this way.. and i feel like ive been taking and not giving.. how ironically..

i jus feel so helpless and useless and unwanted.. really.. i jus hate myself when things like these happens.. as a result im really the root cause of the whole thing..

this marks the official end to my sch's last semester.. how nice..